Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, I tried to impress our swim team coach by doing a complicated backflip from the diving board. I landed face-first in the pool and had to be rescued by the lifeguard, so I guess I won't be going to the Olympics any time soon. FML
Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
You must've been doing horribly, because lifeguards usually don't seem to give a **** unless it looks like you're seriously drowning. I don't even know how to swim and I do just fine. This is ridiculous.
electrocandy 0
at least he was on top of things
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Comments (68)
mijzelffan 0
he probably liked you, and wanted to get closer to you
floopyears7 0
oh my god #16 calm the **** down its not like she ******* broke a law so cool urself i mean really who uses correct grammar on the internet?
offtheheezy 0
Was the lifeguard at least hot?
ely46 0
#16-- It was a great comment, especially about the koala. It was great, right up until the "laid its eggs in my lower intestine" part. When did koalas (a mammal) start laying eggs? Was there a recent change in the animal kingdom?
giganish 0
#27 like if i could totally sawed you i would have hitted you in the face but that didn't never happen.
coachfoo 0
my technique is terrible, and i AM a lifeguard. dont tell my boss
giganish 0
Actually, Platypuses and Akidnas both lay eggs and both are mammals, and both are from Australia home of 20 of the 15 most dangerous snakes, so it's not that unreasonable.
Fic09 0
ok im not gonna give a grammer lesson but i can take to both sides of being both a swimmer and a life guard. first yes there is a technique to swimming but it depends on what stroke it is. second a life guards motto is "If you dont know.. GO!" pretty much if you not sure its a drowning victim then go for it to be safe cuz in most places the guards a liable for anything that happens. finally i dont know if you were going slow enough to make it look like u were haveing a sezure or anything but next time swim a little faster it just makes the guards more comfortable.
desichick23 0
maybe the lifeguard thought you were hot.
thelonelylurker 0
Hilarious.