Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, I tried to impress our swim team coach by doing a complicated backflip from the diving board. I landed face-first in the pool and had to be rescued by the lifeguard, so I guess I won't be going to the Olympics any time soon. FML
Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
You must've been doing horribly, because lifeguards usually don't seem to give a **** unless it looks like you're seriously drowning. I don't even know how to swim and I do just fine. This is ridiculous.
electrocandy 0
at least he was on top of things
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Comments (68)
Damiqua 0
16: i want you #33 *** you maybe u should chill, this sites bout makin people laugh stop tryin to rationalize with the world. Your just one lil person you'll never make a difference so give up
lifebarelyeffed 0
FHL not yours
Dopehead666 21
#2 I agree with the first part. That's odd though.
pikL3bOi 0
So wat? Not am fml u should b more ashamed of putting the on here run bing saved for no reason( or so u say)
pikL3bOi 0
Wow not an fml u should b more ashamed at putting somethingso ******* gay on here run bing saved 4no reason( or so u say)
mimblewimble_fml 0
Maybe he thought you were hot. When I was a lifeguard I'd pull that trick on a few ladies. It seemed to work ;)
GrapefruitZoe 0
#16, you would be right, but you abused the word "literally", so you fail too. Rule of thumb: If you can't do it figuratively, you probably can't do it literally.
AnnaSeptic 0
Lol that happened to me once. I was 11 though, so I doubt the lifeguard thought I was hot...
binaryalice 0
hay dude. i'm a life guard, if you look close to struggling (which you might have) they will jump in to avoid a law suit. its not all about you.
aquarius6 0
So u are saying u actually had a technique at one time?? What happened?