Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
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Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, I tried to impress our swim team coach by doing a complicated backflip from the diving board. I landed face-first in the pool and had to be rescued by the lifeguard, so I guess I won't be going to the Olympics any time soon. FML
Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
You must've been doing horribly, because lifeguards usually don't seem to give a **** unless it looks like you're seriously drowning. I don't even know how to swim and I do just fine. This is ridiculous.
electrocandy 0
at least he was on top of things
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Comments (68)
luvmuffin12 0
Maybe he thought u were cute and wanted to act macho?
trojanline 0
....again, another liar. I've been a lifeguard for 3 years. That doesn't happen. There's no way possible to mistaken "bad swimming" for drowning. Unless, the lifeguard was retarded. STOP PUTTING LIES ON HERE PEOPLE!
jdub23 0
I believe "swum" is the past participle you're looking for.
censorshipoff 0
I remember I was lifeguarding on the deck and I saw a woman flailing her arms around at the other end of the pool. I was about to jump in to save her until I realized she was attempting to do back crawl.
burtonboard97 0
#55, you took the words right out of my mouth
suckstobyou 0
I don't think there was any technique at all
dellie182 0
who gives a shit
lipoflorida 0
hello Today, as I was preparing to write a shitty FML, a motherfucking koala broke into my house, killed my entire family, ate my face off, and laid its eggs in my lower intestine. FML
ellameno 2
I call BS. Swimming is like riding a bike. You never forget how to do it. Maybe you're so severely out of shape that you couldn't make it across the pool and needed "saving."
TheAnonymousOne_fml 0
lol at #60