Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, I tried to impress our swim team coach by doing a complicated backflip from the diving board. I landed face-first in the pool and had to be rescued by the lifeguard, so I guess I won't be going to the Olympics any time soon. FML
Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
You must've been doing horribly, because lifeguards usually don't seem to give a **** unless it looks like you're seriously drowning. I don't even know how to swim and I do just fine. This is ridiculous.
electrocandy 0
at least he was on top of things
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Comments (68)
rustyrox 0
Maybe they did it on purpose ;) ;)
arienh4 0
#20 This is the internet. I think that should say enough. The problem is that most of the people here are less than 12 years old. I'm 14 myself, but I do think I can convey myself comprehensibly...
boatiebanter 0
#16 I love you.
Peroxide 3
You haven't swam since high school? Sounds like you couldn't swim during high school.
koda_fml 0
@ #11 and 16 - It was just all bad timing. #6 thought that 'swam' was the correct word rather than 'swum'. Which in this case, 'swum' was indeed correct as #16 stated. But assuming the OP change 'swum' to 'swam' because was he unsure which one was correct. Now if you look at #6's post, he quotes "i haven't swum since high school..", which probably meant that he copied and pasted from OP's post. When you look at it now, it says 'swam'. #11 probably saw 'swam' so he asked #6 how in the world he saw 'swum' because #11 wasn't here at the time when it was 'swum' #16 raged and went on a grammar rampage to correct #11 then to tell him to win a Darwin Award. (My friends and I were talking about that the other day, lmao) Anyways, to me it all just looks like a bad timing.
gradesnotthatbad 0
I don't get why people get so upset over grammar. it's ******* grammar. we all got the point of the FML, so who the **** cares. #16 you need to chill out, you aren't as funny as you think you are.
audereyy 0
this might be a fake, or written badly...lifeguards dont just jump in for a crappy swimmer. if you were actually making it across the pool the lifeguard wouldnt jump in, if you were treading in place and seemed to be sinking, maybe they would. once at a swim meet this girl had an asthma attack and was seriously drowning...the lifeguard didnt even jump in...a timer had to...
Tmccray 0
HAHAHAHA.......
genius_man16 1
All you grammar nazi's should just go get run over by a bus as far as I'm concerned. NO ONE ******* CARES!! It's the goddamn internet for crying out loud, it's not like we're writing a ******* dissertation here. It's not like we all have giant dictionaries and grammar books next to us while we write our reply's to FML's. God, you all make me want to kill a baby, preferably the ones that you have/will have.
amazons 0
It's "haven't SWUM." Again, it's "haven't SWUM!!!!!" Please, people, go back to school.