By life_suxxx - United States
Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML
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By  Flounder  |  2

Fake on the shoe, and I suspect fake on the bed. Fake on the shoe because dogs simply do not have that kind of aim, particularly since when it comes to dumping they would have no motivation for dumping directly on an object. Fake on the bed since, if the dog sleeps on the bed, it would not crap on it because dogs generally do not shit where they sleep or eat (which is why crating dogs generally helps toilet training). And if it does not sleep on your bed, it would most likely not jump up there just to shit. Both these things separately are possible, and even together is a very remote possibility, but given FML users' propensity for submitting absolute bullshit, I call fake.

  xxreikoxx  |  31

I'm going to disagree with your comment, even though it seems like a valid point. I've been around cats and dogs my entire life until this year, but there were days when I've come home to find a present on my bed from the dog(s). Whether pee or crap, if the dog was scared or suffered from a bladder problem and couldn't hold it, they'll go right where it's convenient. Sometimes it'll be a bed, and sometimes it'll be all over a shoe. The only thing wrong with the OP's post is that, regardless of the dog's size, the dump is too big to simply be inside the shoe. It had to have been noticed outside as well. Only cats are crafty enough to crap inside of a shoe and not miss.

Nothing is worse than cat pee, though...I lost a pair of shoes as a result. -_-+


My old roommates dog used to take shits directly on the wireless modem. I once we moved that he started jumping up onto the table to shit directly on her record player. They do poop on specific objects and little dogs have very good aim.


Judges? (looks towards an ominous table with three dead judges and a gavel)

Looks like we have a winrar. You can choose from this list of "wonderful" prizes:

1) A Jar of Almonds
2) The Best of John Denver collection

or you can choose what's behind the mysterious curtain...


Are you sure? if you choose either prize #1 or #2, we'll throw in a complimentary PEZ dispenser in the shape of James Earl Jones (PEZ not included).

So... will you stick with the curtain or change your prize decision?

  Rayn4u_fml  |  0

I don’t know Brave_Sir_Robin…this is a hard decision, especially now that you’re included the PEZ-free PEZ dispenser. But no, I think I’ll stick to my original choice: the mysterious curtain!


Okay... (drumrolls)

And your prize is... (curtain pulls back)




Unfortunately, you made your choice of what was behind the magic curtain.

However, I'm willing to let you trade everything you won (yes, even the cigarettes) for what's in the mysterious box. It's tempting, isn't it.

Temptation... temptation...


First response - D'oh! (shakes fist at magic curtain) DAMN YOU MAGIC CURTAIN!!

Second response - Are you sure you want to trade in 500 pounds of donkey s**t and a pack of cigarettes (a great prize in my book) for what's in the mysterious box?

  Rayn4u_fml  |  0

500 pounds of donkey s**t and a pack of cigarettes may be awesome, but a mystery box could be anything...even 500 pounds of donkey s**t and a pack of cigarettes!