Animals: Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered...

By RustyBulletHole - 04/02/2009 07:53 - United States

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 174

You deserved it 2 359

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Same thing different taste

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 116

You deserved it 2 449

By unknown - 04/02/2011 08:11

Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 669

You deserved it 5 977

By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 17:07 - Ireland

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 838

You deserved it 7 671

My reward

By KittenShitz - 25/12/2019 14:00

Today, I felt accomplished after I cleaned the whole house alone, but then I stepped backwards to admire my work and stepped into a pile of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 338

Santa or Satan?

By Cat poo - 23/12/2024 16:00 - United States - Smithtown

Today, I woke up, put on my fuzzy socks, walked down my hallway, and stepped in cat vomit. I took off my now wet socks, continued walking down the hallway, and stepped barefoot in cat shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 213

By StinkFoot - 28/10/2018 13:30

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 855

You deserved it 377

Bad doggy

By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 570

You deserved it 4 907

By Livingthedream - 12/08/2018 06:00

Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 964

You deserved it 472

By simple living - 29/04/2015 02:43 - United States - Austin

Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 881

You deserved it 2 684

By Username - 13/02/2011 02:17 - United States

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 729

You deserved it 3 725

thecowbellskit 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 1:09

i hate when that happens.

agsilver 14

Friday 30 November 2012 2:43

Here's a tip, NOONE ******* CARES

Comments

greenman_fml 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 14:22

looks like somebody sleep-*****

GiddyXD 0

Monday 5 April 2010 14:28

yeah lols

KRYPTON1T3 5

Tuesday 22 February 2011 6:31

lol. exactly what I thought. hopefully no one lives with you or that would be tough to explain.

clare_fml 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 17:21

I had a dream about stepping in dog crap last night! fml

agsilver 14

Friday 30 November 2012 2:43

Here's a tip, NOONE ******* CARES

vfscx0aw6o7jshl 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 17:58

I seriously doubt this is true.

svsockerguy 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 23:33

good sir, you have just sit on your carpet

thecowbellskit 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 1:09

i hate when that happens.

Emmy_The_Great 2

Friday 3 September 2010 20:15

LOL 11

ashlyn88 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:04

Sameee :/

LoLoLo_fml 0

Friday 13 February 2009 5:03

Please, please shed some light on this story!!

alotta_fachina 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 10:49

lol wut

mirage1 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 15:14

You've seriously got to give more details here.

ummmyeahhh 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 3:44

#16 FTW.

ashlyn88 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:06

Agreed

istaybrutal9 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 15:36

Were you in the wrong house?

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Today, I decided to take a personal day from class and e-mailed all of my professors saying I had flu symptoms. While standing in line at Starbucks later, someone behind me said, "Glad you're feeling better. Hope you can attend class tomorrow, we'll discuss lying." It was my Ethics professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 869

You deserved it 59 610

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 123

You deserved it 476 231

The Top

Today, at work I had to handle two selfish parents returning their adopted 6 year-old daughter to foster care because, “She doesn’t, like, fit with our lifestyle, and my mom is, like, too old to babysit her anymore and we, like, can’t afford a nanny.” I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 060

You deserved it 125

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 670

You deserved it 3 042

Today, like every time I visit the in-laws, my father-in-law is driving me crazy. He gets all holier than thou sometimes, and even my mother-in-law agrees he just talks to hear himself speak. It gets so bad that I resort to cleaning their house to ignore him. At least then he leaves me alone. Starting their dishes in 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 124

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 108

You deserved it 1 961

Today, I took my friends out to an expensive restaurant for my birthday treat. They had arranged for a surprise birthday cake for me which I cut, very happily, while they chanted birthday wishes. When the bill came, I discovered I was supposed to pay for my great 'surprise' cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 438

You deserved it 5 367

Today, I was told I'm not invited to my best friend's birthday party. Apparently, being divorced and childless doesn't "mesh" well with the rest of the group. My parents are still watching her kids so she can go away for the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 117

You deserved it 896

Same thing different taste

My reward

Santa or Satan?

Bad doggy

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