Laura
Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
catbum
Regina, Canada
Today, I accidentally shoved my finger up my cat's butt while trying to push him off my nightstand in the dark. FML
Anonymous
Oldest trick in the book
Today, I have to admit I sometimes snoop in my daughter's room, but she must have realised this because she has started laying booby traps for me. I'm currently in the ER getting fishing hooks removed from my hand after she taped them to a mousetrap and left the mousetrap inside her desk drawer. I deserve it but, FML
upliftmofo
Belgium
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
BeatenUpPup
Canada
Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML
...
San Francisco, United States
Home improvement
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
gbabyy
United States
Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML
Ihatestraycats
Apex predator
Today, after we finished making my 6 year-old daughter a net to catch an injured baby bird, when she went out to catch it she witnessed a stray cat catch and eat it. FML
maruskasommers
Czech Republic
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Anonymous
Primitive art
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Anonymous
Oshawa, Canada
Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML
Top comments
dillies 3
maybe she thought it was a pencil sharpener?
FerrariCake 2
You didnt say how old your daughter is. That matters. If she is 6 years old, this behavior indicates the child should see a therapist. If she is 19 years old, this behavior indicates she should contact a **** talent agency.
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Comments (149)
SchittzyHole 0
all i gotta say its. danger,danger.
factoidz 0
I only made $50 this month for nearly an hour of work online... wtf! i usually get more... factoidz(dot)com/earn-revenue-now/6A14076 (dot) = .
Suchafukkinlady2 0
Your comment : thats gansta
ThickHead 0
I was thinking of doing that when my cat was in heat xD
murrcat1021 0
that's so funny
izzie2899 6
lawl
sammy259 3
why the ****
kbroom4 0
your kid is awesomely hilarious
furlifefoo 0
maybe it's time to put the kid down. just sayin'
krazygirl100 9
ooo sexy lol jk