Laura
Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
catbum
Regina, Canada
Today, I accidentally shoved my finger up my cat's butt while trying to push him off my nightstand in the dark. FML
Anonymous
Oldest trick in the book
Today, I have to admit I sometimes snoop in my daughter's room, but she must have realised this because she has started laying booby traps for me. I'm currently in the ER getting fishing hooks removed from my hand after she taped them to a mousetrap and left the mousetrap inside her desk drawer. I deserve it but, FML
upliftmofo
Belgium
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
BeatenUpPup
Canada
Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML
...
San Francisco, United States
Home improvement
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
gbabyy
United States
Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML
Ihatestraycats
Apex predator
Today, after we finished making my 6 year-old daughter a net to catch an injured baby bird, when she went out to catch it she witnessed a stray cat catch and eat it. FML
maruskasommers
Czech Republic
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Anonymous
Primitive art
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Anonymous
Oshawa, Canada
Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML
Top comments
dillies 3
maybe she thought it was a pencil sharpener?
FerrariCake 2
You didnt say how old your daughter is. That matters. If she is 6 years old, this behavior indicates the child should see a therapist. If she is 19 years old, this behavior indicates she should contact a **** talent agency.
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Comments (149)
bongomanacome 0
Seriously? Your life is ******? Only if your daughter is 16. For ***** sake! You've got a child and she's curious.
0opsie 6
#68 = Win.
hotair10 9
satisfaction brought him back
pennies_lane 6
I bet you weren't expecting that when you told her to put her pencils away!
lovingmylife84 0
you need to protect the cat- if you even leave them alone together it is animal cruelty, and you're liable. she needs to be kept away!
bongomanacome 0
Please, shut up.
StarieOnight 12
or maybe give the cat away....
melissa1983 0
Why is this an F your life? You weren't the one who was getting an attempted butt raping from a child with a pencil. F your cats life.
FarSide 23
F the pussy....cat
sexieeduck 0
litterally ..
TryptamineDreame 0
lmao, this is the funniest thing I've ever read :3
califbob 3
the cat was asking for it!
thrAsHeRr9081 16
When she was growing up, my mom knew a kid that lived across the street from her who would stick mini fire crackers up cats asses & dig holes and bury them and only have their heads sticking out, and then run them over with lawn mowers. Sticking pencils up your cats ass isn't so bad.
scubasw1fey 0
that is horrible!
kyle_lockhart 0
thats ****** up mental issues
NekoHakase 0
You might want to get that kid evaluated... erm, mentally..... sadism like that is just wrong, and will result in a lot of problems down the line. I bet you that the kid #81's mom knew didn't exactly grow up to become a fine upstanding citizen.
jimbob13 0
i stick my D!CK up there...
imaweiner00 5
@28