Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML
Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML
Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML
Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
LolaD18 1
You should go take a dump in his cardboard box, show him who's boss.
Mirorbo 27
And... what exactly is keeping you from calling the cops, darling?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (90)
mollieOdare 0
That's a first.
TheMonica 0
That's what the police are for, sweetie.
Livinia 11
Damn right finders keepers. Stick to the rules, OP.
jobart_fml 5
now Livinia sink... finders keepers!
Skorne 5
It's hilarious that he managed to break into your house, but still used your sink and not your bath.
onlyjuan100 0
I know right?
PurpleChick96 3
lock the doors next time?
MRobvious750 0
Some homeless people are nice people OP maybe you just made a new best friend .....
SluggerJ 7
you should have told him "get your life together & get a job & you can rent a room".
guckylynn 19
Not all homeless people need to get their lives together. There are a lot of circumstances we don't understand unless we've been where they are. Also, many of them are veterans who simply could not assimilate back into society and no one wants to help them out.
blahmocca 0
^^? "not all homeless people need to get their lives together"? they are homeless... don't be defiant for the fun of it. if your homeless... and your at the point where your breaking into peoples houses and taking a bath I their sink? you need to get your life together.
brozorz 0
is he talking about the sink or the house
Bofferding_fml 6
aw midgets taking a bath in a sink are so cute!
cicinyc 7
shut up
Daniruu 4
Call the police.