Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML
Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML
Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML
Today, barely 2 hours into a 5 hour car ride home, my mom accidentally let slip that she's been cheating on my dad. I had to sit with the bitch in a diner for ages while my dad bawled his eyes out alone in the car. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML
Today, I was telling my dad how my boyfriend dumped me yesterday. He responded by blowing his nose into his hand, wiping it in my hair, then saying "There, a REAL problem to whine about." FML
Today, my boyfriend has never gotten along with my dad, but this afternoon during what I thought was a completely normal conversation, he just stood up, yelled he couldn’t take my dad anymore, punched him in the nose, dumped me, and drove away. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says, "Oh, honey. I don't care… Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML
Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML
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Top comments
oppawoppa 9
Tell him you just had sex. He'll wake up (;
Deannie88 6
I'm sorry to hear that OP. Parents can be real helpful at times, and sometimes not so much... But they still love you! Cheer up! There's plenty other fish in the sea. He's not worth waiting for if he did that to you!
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Comments (122)
thatrealysucks 0
put chile on his tounge
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I don't think Chile would fit on his tongue.
MissEmma_fml 22
I'd like to see OP put a whole country on her dad's tongue.
KILLERTOAST13 4
Draw alot of racist slurs on his forehead/face and drive him to Detroit come back in 2 hours and admire your handiwork.
b0ngs 7
umm.. he'd probably be dead by then.
KILLERTOAST13 4
EXACTLEY
AnthonyWheeler15 24
Say you're pregnant and that'll get his attention
KILLERTOAST13 4
3 people already said that, maybe you should actually read other peoples comments before spamming one persons idea.
KiddNYC1O 22
22- Just because someone posted something first doesn't necessarily mean they thought of it first.
KILLERTOAST13 4
Ok even though it probably does lets pretend YOUR right for a second (I know crazy right?) it still means they wrote it and I along with every one else DON'T want to read it again.
phatdaddy62 23
64 - proofread YOUR post!
KILLERTOAST13 4
At least I'm not 50 and investing all my time in a website/app when I could be doing something useful with my life like say getting a job and not trolling a random 15 year old that now thinks you're a pedophile
Herculesninja27 5
Put whip cream on his hand and tickle his nose:)
perdix 31
Keep going, he's so engrossed in your story that he's speechless! The excitement and tension of the story has caused a rapid heartbeat and labored breathing. Don't leave him in suspense!
lizetteyaira 0
Frist of all why would he ask you to tell him your problems if at the end he would end up falling asleep!
KILLERTOAST13 4
Who are you asking here? I mean why would any of us know that, I mean THAT'S why this is an FML in the first place you don't just say whatever comes to mind first! Your supposed to actually think about it before you start acting stupid.
xNephilim 19
Where's the second part of your comment? "First of all..." What about "Second of all..."?
CrazyGiirlfriend 0
Kill the **** who slept with him :)
olpally 33
Ignore me! Tried to comment and it went away.. Bury me!! *drinks a beer*
rcgirl2 11
I already knew he was going to fall asleep as soon as you said he put on his sunglasses.
Inediblepeaches 15
I think that *may* be a sign to stfu
misspulkadot24 17
Hey, look at it this way: most girls don't feel they can talk to there dad about this stuff, so even if he does fall asleep, I think that can be forgiven, since he did show an interest in your problems in the first place :)
jayfreeman80 0
Their not there