Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML
Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML
Today, my dad is still mad because I tossed his empty coffee can over 3 days ago. FML
Today, after threatening my son for weeks that if he didn't clean his room, I would, I went in, equipped with a garbage bag, ready to throw away everything I found, only to discover dozens of empty bottles, two partially empty pizza boxes, Taco Bell wrappers, and cockroaches. FML
Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML
Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
Today, my dad came up into my room and told me that as a consequence of breaking my MacBook in anger, he’s punishing me by helping him with yardwork every single hour of the day. FML
Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML
Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML
Today, my dad had a day off and was 'bored' so he decided to move our entire kitchen into our living room. We now have no running water, no oven that works and the entire house is a bombsite. He has an entire week off. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
poemqueen 15
You shouldn't have salted his coffee then!
RensM 22
1st off Coffee is Holy you never mess with it so you definitely deserved it/ 2nd I like your dad's creativity, you got to respect the effort he put into that one
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (158)
17sRacing 0
That's ****** awesome, sounds like something my dad would do.
lilly98ish 4
I would have broke down in tears tbh and thrown a fit hahaha i would have been so pissed off but u did salt his coffee ..
vhivfe 3
What and immature father. it's not like u meant to salt his coffee. Salt looks like sugar FYL
Nyolia 11
Question is, why did you salt his coffee?
austin0023 0
Your dad doesn't **** around!
KillerX945 1
When there are worthless parents like this, you deck them and start making their life miserable until your 18th birthday
saidin 1
Over-reaction much? His dad sounds like a fun, shit-stirring kinda guy, this is not a bad thing.
bizarre_ftw 22
Move out. Only for a day or two, set up a tarp over the stuff, take what you need, explain the situation to a close friend and their family and ask if you can stay for a couple days :) just leave the junk there for your dad to fix, but return periodically to subtly screw with him (remove all toilet paper and or spray it with pepper spray, add alcohol to all drinks or do the reverse and pour out all alcohol and replace with water, ice tea, and such other substances that look similar, pour sugar where salt should be, visa versa, you're getting it right?)
bubo_fml 11
No problem Pop! Tomorrow AM...Exlax!!!
Okayitwasme 0
You should laugh with him and pat him on the back. Then say it wasn't a very good payback. Since he must have labored all day just to play a prank that takes the sane effort to put back. You will have to show him again how a prank should be simple and effective. I wonder how long he took thinking that one up.
Azlein 0
Next time piss in the pot of coffee. :D That'll teach him!