Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
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By
flutter4
| 7
He just wanted extra love from you
By
lacespace
| 8
Boo it's a criminal master mind!
COMMENTS
By
lacespace
| 8
Boo it's a criminal master mind!
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Futacy
| 29
I predict a large number of comments containing the phrase "dump him".
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lacespace
| 8
"honey you took exploited my stupidity we can't be together"
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TorturedXeno
| 27
*insert "dump the bastard", "you deserve better", and "sounds like a keeper!" comments below*
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lacespace
| 8
15: why is there a "took" in your comment?
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lacespace
| 8
29: sorry sexy ass girl! I didn't see that
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HowAreYouToday
| 34
The boyfriend should dump you. He deserves better. You sound like a "keeper."
Like that?
Like that?
Reply
TorturedXeno
| 27
Bingo, 54! You get a cookie, and a smiley-face sticker. XD
By
flutter4
| 7
He just wanted extra love from you
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hopsinlove17
| 26
I guess he's not man enough to just ask for some cuddle time.
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lacespace
| 8
He's Barney!
Next he'll tell her he has poison in his winker and needs someone to suck it out. And yes, she'll be a hero.
Next he'll tell her he has poison in his winker and needs someone to suck it out. And yes, she'll be a hero.
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Psych101
| 9
25- That's an... odd connection to make.
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lacespace
| 8
How so? Barney (from How I Met Your Mother)tells ridiculous lies to sleep with women. I think the connection is quite clear.
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Psych101
| 9
31- That's much clearer. I don't watch How I Met Your Mother, so my mind jumped to a certain purple and green dinosaur.
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lacespace
| 8
Haha oh valid confusion on your part. I don't think Barney Rubble even has a penis to be sucked. I will recommend, if not insist, that you watch How I Met Your Mother, though.
Reply
meihua
| 19
Not man enough to ask for a cuddle during sex?
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jesustitts
| 20
43-he wasn't talking about Barney Rubble from the Flinstones, however that's what my first thought was when I saw your post.
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sens3sfailing
| 24
Barney Rubble isn't a dinosaur?! My childhood has been a lie...wait, never mind, the cake is the lie.
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BellaBelle_fml
| 23
^ I believe you are confusing Dino and Barney.
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jesustitts
| 20
Lol was Dino purple and green as well?
By
ilovesuju
| 10
Maybe he was trying to kill a spider, shit happens when you do that you know.
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lacespace
| 8
Yes if anything it shows his dedication to the safety of your home
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
or it could have been a snake!!
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TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
Oh-oh, I guess some people don't read ALL the recent FMLs..
By
4Sharks
| 4
It's clearly Casper the Friendly Ghost.
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TorturedXeno
| 27
I don't think so. It's obviously Dobby, the house-elf! (rest his soul)
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ohSNAPyall
| 26
Casper the Horny Ghost!
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BlackRogue
| 8
22-Dobby came back as a poltergeist because he has unfinished business with the laundry and dishes :3
By
Big_lama6
| 7
Maybe he was just looking for an excuse to spend some extra time with you?
By
person961
| 9
There are no such things as ghosts, and your bf is an asshole.
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jackal181
| 7
Agreed, FYL because your boyfriend would try to scare you like that, but YDI for thinking it was ghosts.
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LiesAndMischief
| 4
41 - YDI seems pretty harsh in this FML. There's nothing WRONG with believing in ghosts and I don't think it makes you dumb either. It's just a different belief from yours, you don't have to accept it but you shouldn't judge them for it either.
Unless they're acting bat shit crazy like some supernatural enthusiasts. Then yeah, never mind, they're pretty annoying.
Unless they're acting bat shit crazy like some supernatural enthusiasts. Then yeah, never mind, they're pretty annoying.
Reply
amandajlucas2015
| 2
And I don't think the boyfriend is an asshole.. Maybe the girlfriend was being neglectful and that was the only way he could get to spend any time with her.. Guys need loving too
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Googolman
| 29
You don't know that ghosts aren't real, and one wouldn't be stupid for believing in them.
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docscientist
| 9
You sort of deserve it because you know, ghosts don't exist. If you approached with respect to reality you'd have saved yourself some time.
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CallMeMcFeelii
| 13
I don't personally believe in the supernatural, but I don't think people that do are complete idiots other than those guys from Ghost Hunters. They are idiots.
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devore504
| 7
Ghost are real. My neice is 3 and saw my grandmother. If you dont think they are real so be it but dont talk about people cause they do.
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SqueakyChipmunk
| 20
Lies! I shall call Sexual Harrasment-Chipmunk back from the grave to haunt you.
I think you can guess why he's dead.
I think you can guess why he's dead.
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andrew9623
| 9
Hey, i don't agree with his methods, but maybe he wanted to spend more time with his girlfriend and didn't know how to go about it.
By
secretsymbiote21
| 5
wow, thats devious!
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connecting_dots
| 0
How is it devious? :p would you like the extra "love"?
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BellaBelle_fml
| 23
^ I'm trying, unsuccessfully, to 'Connect the Dots' in your comment.
By
FMLTuna
| 6
woooooooo i'm not your boyfriend. I'm a ghost!
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trulymickeyj
| 13
Haha lol
Reply
_Giggity_
| 3
I'm not a shopping list.... I'M A GHOST!
By
emeraldisle
| 30
At least your place isn't haunted.
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flutter4
| 7
That's a good thing to know
By
TheyStoleMyPiggy
| 6
Personally, I can't believe you fell for that.
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p3mguin
| 7
Just tell me, if you got home and everything was pushed to the side and flipped you wouldn't think something was up?
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ICastillo
| 24
Ya she thought there was some "Paranormal Activity" going on at her house.
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TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
Paranormal activity? More like abnormal asshat. (that's catching on!)
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evilplatypus
| 38
53 - I'd think something was up, by my mind would not jump to "OMG, ghosts!" My first reaction would be to believe it was a prank of some kind and set a trap for the prankster.
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jesustitts
| 20
My first reaction wouldn't necessarily be ghosts. It'd be "my boyfriend is an asshole and moved everything around." Because he would actually do something like that.
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Cruisnic
| 1
My first thought would be, that the place got robbed.