Miscellaneous: Today, my dad had a day off and was 'bored' so he decided to...

By mazzer - 04/01/2012 02:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad had a day off and was 'bored' so he decided to move our entire kitchen into our living room. We now have no running water, no oven that works and the entire house is a bombsite. He has an entire week off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 051

You deserved it 2 267

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Same thing different taste

Don't drink and DIY

By bob the builders pissed off daughter - 29/12/2015 23:52 - United States - Campbell

Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 045

You deserved it 1 403

Thanks, now **** off

By Dry - 18/03/2017 16:00

Today, after moving into my new house, my partner's father came to give us his old sofa. Now, an hour before he has to leave, he's half-completed 3 DIY jobs we didn't want done in the first place, and smashed my water inlet pipe. I have no water and a destroyed kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 893

You deserved it 438

Perfectionist

By Anonymous - 23/02/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we finished redecorating my kitchen. My dad has been his usual OCD self about getting it perfect, so when he noticed a shelf was just barely not level, he decided to adjust the screws. It fell off and damaged my floor, so he threw the screwdriver and cracked a wall tile. Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 86

Lemon or haunted?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2020 08:00

Today, our boiler broke. Yesterday, it was our fridge. The day before that, the deck collapsed, and a few weeks ago the dishwasher flooded the kitchen. This is after we spent a ton of money to have the house gutted due to a mold problem. We only bought the house a year ago, and have lived in it even less. We need to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 732

You deserved it 209

By ge fu yo twa - 25/06/2018 20:30

Today, after house sitting for my future father-in-law and managing to keep things spotless for 3 weeks, a pipe burst. It flooded the place and shorted out a plug socket, causing a fire that ruined the front room. He gets home in 3 hours. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 215

You deserved it 272

One law for thee, another for me

By thanks a lot asshole - 26/09/2020 17:02 - United States

Today, I went to visit my father. His new wife has hoarded out our childhood home nearly to the point of it being unliveable. That’s pretty funny, considering my dad used to literally beat us if our rooms weren’t clean or we left dishes in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 385

You deserved it 346

By wet - 23/04/2011 18:33 - United States

Today, the toilet on the top floor of my house burst, soaked the bathroom, and water dripped down into the kitchen and the basement for hours when nobody was home. Eight blowers and a dehumidifier later, the house is about 90 degrees and I can't leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 887

You deserved it 2 884

By francesa_loca - 14/10/2011 16:09 - Canada

Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 966

You deserved it 2 524

By Anonymous - 15/10/2011 01:48 - Canada

Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 176

You deserved it 41 138

By Niles - 20/03/2012 17:46 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 382

You deserved it 2 834

zoPwNAgEzo 21

Wednesday 4 January 2012 8:21

Move his shit into the front yard. If he starts complaining? You were "bored"

every1luvsboners 11

Wednesday 4 January 2012 8:26

He just wants the stuff closer to him so he doesn't have to get his arse up off the couch. No need to worry until he cuts a hole in the floor and starts ******** in it.

Comments

crisspz 4

Wednesday 4 January 2012 8:20

I like turtles

StoryOfTheYear 14

Wednesday 4 January 2012 8:20

What's next?

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Wednesday 4 January 2012 8:21

A monster truck crashing through the roof.

ClassyCommando 13

Wednesday 4 January 2012 8:25

I think moving the bathroom to the roof would be a good call. What a beautiful view for you... and the neighbours too, come to think of it.

death_dolphin24 0

Wednesday 4 January 2012 9:00

Reminds me of that one Family Guy episode where Peter gets the Petercopter and Hindenpeter and crashes them into Joe's house and yard

kingsley_fml 8

Wednesday 4 January 2012 9:14

@#8 - That makes me think of Cleveland...no no no no NOOOOOO.

enonymous 8

Wednesday 4 January 2012 9:22

Time to remodel the garage into a meth lab / sun room.

LiyIa_fml 8

Wednesday 4 January 2012 9:28

Maybe while you're gone OP, your Dad will turn your room into his man cave. :)

KittySaysMoo 6

Wednesday 4 January 2012 16:19

Weirdest mid-life crisis ever! o:

FaguIous 22

Friday 13 March 2015 20:46

Cutting a hole in the floor to shit in it

rceckspurt13 0

Wednesday 4 January 2012 8:20

Well then he'll have the whole week to put it back together :) I'm sure there was a good reason for moving everything in the first place.

chili10 18

Wednesday 4 January 2012 9:31

I didn't know you knew #3's dad, mrmisfit.

iDaniel525 8

Wednesday 4 January 2012 8:20

At least you don't have a toilet in your kitchen....

brown4lifejot 1

Wednesday 4 January 2012 8:33

...ew

zoPwNAgEzo 21

Wednesday 4 January 2012 8:21

Move his shit into the front yard. If he starts complaining? You were "bored"

Taysia_Elice 6

Wednesday 4 January 2012 8:22

I'm sure he will have it back together by the end of the week.

death_dolphin24 0

Wednesday 4 January 2012 9:02

Like Family Guy

every1luvsboners 11

Wednesday 4 January 2012 8:26

He just wants the stuff closer to him so he doesn't have to get his arse up off the couch. No need to worry until he cuts a hole in the floor and starts ******** in it.