Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML
Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by cleaning the entire apartment before he came home. I even lit a candle and put fresh flowers on the table. When he walked in, he stared at everything and said, “Did someone come over?” My boyfriend thought a cleaning service had been hired. FML
Today, I bought my wife chocolates and a rose. When she got home, I told her I had a surprise but then I couldn’t find the chocolates or the rose anywhere in this frigging house, they were just gone. I had to pretend the surprise was going out for dinner but still, where the fuck did the rose go? FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by cooking her dinner. I spent hours preparing and making sure everything was perfect. I lit candles, set the table, and even put on some soft music. When she came home, she'd already eaten and wasn't hungry. FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML
Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
skyeyez9 25
my husband tried to pull that shit on me once: Oh I invited some friends over so we need to get some more food. When he said "we" he really meant: I invited my friends over so I expect you to cook for them and clean up afterwards. What ever. He can cook for his own friends. I don't expect him to do that if I have my friends over our house.
perdix 31
Don't get any food -- just lay naked on your bed with your legs spread wide, and when everyone comes over, yell "Tuna tacos for everyone!" On second thought, you can buy a massive amount of Vienna Sausages and tell everyone that they are actual size replicas of your husband's dick. That'll show him!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (129)
Starfire22 5
What a romantic...
floydman 1
I'd have made something with the wrong ingredients and passed it off as my spouse's reciepe.
THATCHICKDANNI 1
I bet you were expecting something else i guess.
uhohuscrewedup 0
wel if he did all that for you to set up dinner, then think what he will do when it's the real thing
MoonyIce 0
Haha, that's fantastic. Seriously though, I'd 'gasp with surprise' too if I found 'rose pedals' strewn all over my house.
MoonyIce 0
Euh, double post.
YoungE 0
well when she comes do the same thing, but leave a note saying "the food I bought comes with a price tag: meet me in the bedroom ASAP"
YoungE 0
he**
idkweird 0
I think that's adorable. :) It shows he cares about you. It may not have been what you expected, but it was still sweet.
davycdu49_fml 0
sweet?! telling her HE invited people at home and SHE had to take care of it?
idkweird 0
I think it's a really nice way to ask her to grab some food. Nowhere in that note did it say she had to make something. He basically asked her to go to the store. If my bf said, "we need food," I would take that as we're out of stuff and I would go grab some. But, instead of texting or just making a quick call, he set up a somewhat elaborate way to ask her. It shows the love behind it.
TotalPandamonium 2
I think the main point is if he was going to invite people over he should have talked to her first. If it was a guy talking about having a long day at work and then coming home to dealing with guests you guys would be jumping all over his wife. He seems to expect her to go from a long day to cooking food for guests and being an awesome host to people that are probably his friends.
idkweird 0
I guess I'm just different. Its all about perception. To me, friends would be mutual. My bf and don't have a whole lot of seperate friends, and I don't mind doind stuff like that. I guess I just figured that if they are living together, that they would be mutual friends. I felt that the FML to the OP was that she expected something different than what she got. Hell, it could have just been a reminder to something she already knew about. Not enough info, and everyone is going to take it differently. I guess I'm just a person who could see the nice possibilities in this one.
TotalPandamonium 2
My boyfriend and I have mutual friends, but even so I'd prefer he ask me before he invites them over. I don't invite people over unless I talk to him about it first. Especially during the week because he tends to be way too tired for that kind of thing.
idkweird 0
Again, it could have also been a reminder to something that they had already planned. It is all in the context....of which we have none.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Wtf, #37? Stop arguing already, it's clear in the FML that it was in no way something pre-planned. The OP's BF or husband invited friends over (HIS friends most likely, or she'd be more likely to know of it too), never asked her anything and is now expecting her to cook. It's OBVIOUSLY not pre-planned, nor is he even asking her to buy food!! The petals are a clever way to avoid her getting angry over the obvious implication that she is too cook for his buddies after her long day or work. Do you have no understanding of such things or what?? Learn to read! So annoying...
idkweird 0
#90, perhaps you should understand that it's all about perception. Just because that's the way YOU took it, does not mean that it's correct. As with my statements. There is no clear context or background, therefore it leaves a lot to perception. I was playing a bit of the devil's advocate. There are two sides to every story. Just as past experiences in your life led you to assume one thing, past experiences in mine led me to believe another. Neither is KNOWN to be right or wrong.
Rota 0
if you don't make the food or **** it up after that I hope he leaves your ass on the street.
kitkatkelly 0
Hahaha... that's kind of cute, but I'd still be pissed!