Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She then proceeded to ask for all the gifts she gave me for Christmas back. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML
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Top comments
fifi125 21
Superglue them all shut and then see how much she needs you!
Steve95401 49
She will also miss your ability to reach things on the top shelf.
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Comments (119)
mcamilli 14
You'll find a better girl!
mizz_brandi 9
I'm sorry but that's funny. Hahahahaha
russfml 31
That's when you hand her an elastic band and say well this could have been avoided all along. What a bitch FYL.
thenewgirl29 20
That actually is kind of funny.
Lily_Rain77 25
This is exactly how I feel. I have a boyfriend because I want one. Not because I need one. And I can open my own jars ;-)
Tashmahollic 7
I live in oregon and I have said this. sorry brah.
symboic 13
Am I the only one who likes to go through the comments and read all the down voted comments
russfml 31
I'm in that boat! Sometimes there is in FML within an FML just like those Russian faberge eggs
False_Stupidity 42
I do this too, mainly because i'm very curious about what comments were down voted into oblivion. Sometimes there are gems amongst the detritus.
Drosophila82 18
What?
FieldLeftBlank 20
To all of you commenting on what a bitch she is, what exactly would you say if you were the ones getting dumped? Beg perhaps?
russfml 31
All she did was validate his point. I'm sure he would be willing to continue the relationship if she appreciated him more. It sounds like she had it coming
DoomedGemini 38
Maybe they aren't right for each other, that doesn't really make her a bitch. This seems like something my brother would do and I'm sure people would laugh If he did
mosquito19 14
you're better off finding someone equally needy.