Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She then proceeded to ask for all the gifts she gave me for Christmas back. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML
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Top comments
fifi125 21
Superglue them all shut and then see how much she needs you!
Steve95401 49
She will also miss your ability to reach things on the top shelf.
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Comments (119)
ezrajab 22
That's when you say well the ****** is a muscle isn't it? Use that! Seriously tho sorry op things will look up soon
Tsukiyomi 16
Ouch
hoosiergirl94 31
Well I need a man to open my jars
Hauclir 14
I'll open your jars! Ship em to Canada, i'll open it, and ship it back.
russfml 31
Haha I'd like to see how well the open jars ship back
doctorhook86 25
#30: I'm actually in the process of inventing a special type of cargo plane specifically for shipping open jars! The jars will be locked down to the fuselage, which will rotate at high speed so that centrifugal force keeps the jars from spilling. Patent pending.
Hauclir 14
She does bring up a valid point. She needs someone to open the jars.
PaulMcCartney_ 11
Aw she doesn't deserve you. If she doesn't appreciate you, she doesn't deserve you. And she was using you for opening her jars. You'll find someone, I'm sure.
Terrynics 8
Harsh. Very harsh.
ontheFLY4 25
I find her to be extremely comical! I wonder if she had prepared this line and was just waiting for the opportune time to bust it out? FYL though.
Delsanity 13
Then you are better without her .
usaidwhat82 21
You definitely made the right decision OP. Hope you find someone more appreciative soon!
Ipsum629 13
ever tried using Java?