Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
vrossie_ 15
Can't you call then cops for that? ..
123amanda123 14
the poor hamster! :(
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (297)
asherm 15
Wow! Sorry about your pet :(. I guess try restraining order, but I guess if she breaks in that won't help much. Damn, fatal attraction much?
Tessa_11 19
Wow. Poor hamster :(
Savner 16
she sounds really mentally unstable to abuse an animal... especially in that manner.
Cujo3269 9
Why the **** do you have a hamster? Are you a fag?
ChrissyAnne23 6
Sociopaths usually start out with innocent animals!!
RayRayYoooo 17
That son of a bitch! Wait no, SHE IS THE BITCH HERSELF!!!!! Why would she hurt a defenseless animal? D:
harmtouch16 11
Um did anyone say, "That's forked up" yet? Cause that's forked up. But seriously, yeah call 911. If she's that crazy she could hurt you.
October3461 12
Aw no! The cute lil hamster! :( I think it's time to put a bitch in line op , better yet let me do it :)
acuntsicklestick 10
Stab her with a fork.
nichollelovins 18
Call the cops on that crazy blitch! Fluck that shlit!
Shrike 24
"Fluck" that "shlit"? Are you 12 years old or something?? If so, **** this shit, I've lost hope in kids' ability to swear anymore.