Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
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Top comments
vrossie_ 15
Can't you call then cops for that? ..
123amanda123 14
the poor hamster! :(
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Comments (297)
jigglypuff34 16
Most serial killers started by hurting animals. Be very afraid.
perdix 31
You shouldn't date Glenn Close! She's murder on rodents.
Misshhh 23
Whoa ._. .. Let's all take a moment.. For OP's Hamster..
ABillOnFire 15
Jesus, what a psycho
ifavela89 13
wth physco did you call the cop? breaking an entry and killing your pet that's crazy
MidnaLink 35
Have the Psycho Bitch thrown out and have a 60mi restraining order placed on her.
jasmine2301 25
Wow poor hamster. Good thing you ditched the bitch. Hopefully you're smart enough to get a restraining order next.
firstdayofmay 8
Well that was a plot twist
acroluvr98 11
hey, on the bright side if you bury it in the pet cemetary, it might come back to life
MidnaLink 35
Yeah, as a rabid version of itself…
Bigfabthetruth52 22
Sounds psychotic