Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
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Top comments
vrossie_ 15
Can't you call then cops for that? ..
123amanda123 14
the poor hamster! :(
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Comments (297)
browniey 11
I honestly haven't met any girl that will do such cruelty to animals that way. She has lost it... :(. OP, new gf too!
Abominations 7
Hamster should not have gotten in the middle.
ForbiddenDestiny 20
OP: "I have to leave you, you're too abusive, I'm sorry" OP's Ex: I know what will get him back even more vicious abuse! And murder! - She needs help!
Meaniebobeanie 26
Oh ****... I was thinking they were the ones that were crazy about animal protection. My bad everybody!
jrock9093 18
Sorry I don't know why I'm laughing that your hamster was served on a fork or your not man enough to stop her it's called a restraining order bud and you have a good case
an3ph 20
I'll abstain from the hamster microwave quote.
qwertkinz 12
That poor baby! Please just report her.
bdawg_boii_x 2
Animal abuse!
bdawg_boii_x 2
What did your hamster ever do to her?
norman112 3
whoa so why amd how long did y'all date bat shit man bat shit