Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
vrossie_ 15
Can't you call then cops for that? ..
123amanda123 14
the poor hamster! :(
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (297)
ChakatBlackstar 29
Literal jaw drop - I know that's been said by a dozen or so other people but it's worth mentioning again because it's that much of a jaw dropping post.
S4N 5
call the police! she can be charged with animal cruelty and murder, abuse to you, damage to your property, trespassing, & you could throw in a restraining order.
kaitlynjane 28
I just read a recent article about PETA that said they euthanize 90% of the animals that come to them within 24 hours, and then dump them in the garbage bins outside. Even perfectly healthy young puppies or kittens. Yeah.. **** PETA.
heliophobia 13
Call the police, get a restraining order.
howdoilogin 9
Call the cops. I'm not even joking you need to have that bitch incarcerated and committed to a psychiatric ward. She's clearly a psychopath.
Miss_Latina 13
Damn she is beyond evil
ea247 20
Omg I'm so sorry!!! your hamster!! :'(
Empoleon123 6
Bro, she can get arrested for burglary and animal abuse...
relaxeazy 24
How could anyone vote "you deserved it"?!? That's just horrible what she did
kayvan 8
Uh. Police report or it didn't happen.