Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
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Top comments
vrossie_ 15
Can't you call then cops for that? ..
123amanda123 14
the poor hamster! :(
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Comments (297)
TheDoctor10 28
This adds to my already prevalent dislike of people.
zandalee 20
Oh come now. Most people are lovely! Don't let this make you cynical.
ksks1234 33
Damn! That is beyond crazy, scary. Get a restraining order ASAP, and possibly stay with someone else for a while. She is definitely not stable and might try to hurt you.
awkwierd 9
WTF
Meaniebobeanie 26
**ringring** **ringring** • Hello, PETA representative speaking? Uh huh? Uh huuuh... NOO!! Yes. We will take care of it sir. Have a nice day. **CLICK** • SIR! We just got in a call about a hamster killing, sir. Particularly disastrous. She used a fork. Sir - Call a Code • Bbut sir... They only owe us one more favor - I know. • Are you sure? - Yes. • One mob hit coming right up. - Oh, and Billy... • Yes sir? - This is the right thing to do. Pets owners everywhere are counting on us. You can do this! • YES SIR!! Thanks. Dad.
every1luvsboners 11
You were just pumping it up with steroids to send it up your arse for your pleasure anyways. She did the hamster a favor by killing it.
Quantumpanda 13
And your basis for making this marvelously intelligent and insightful comment is what, exactly? (What? Is my sarcasm showing again? Dang it, I thought I had that under control.)
graceinsheepwear 34
43, I am starting to get an idea why you made the semen-scented fart comment in the interview FML. Seems you may look at everything from a rear-facing perspective.
zandalee 20
43- likes ass! ;)
ViviMage 40
Call cops for animal control. There should be an ASPCA with police enforcement power for animal abuse.
littlemisssixx 5
D: that poor hamster!! KILL THE PSYCHOTIC WOMAN!!!
SailorMoon921 7
Stab her with a fork lol jk but what a crazy bitch!
chocolatefrog28 29
That's really forked up.
Blink_me26 21
What the actual ****