Love: Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by...

By Anonymous - 27/09/2013 20:33 - United States - Spring Branch

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 991

You deserved it 4 554

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ouch - 16/06/2016 10:14 - United States - Livonia

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 374

You deserved it 2 013

By HttpsHaileyy - 15/06/2015 20:02 - United States

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 790

You deserved it 9 587

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 11:53 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 076

You deserved it 4 184

By traumatised - 11/10/2009 16:16 - United Kingdom

Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 469

You deserved it 2 790

Not so anal retentive then…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2017 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 343

You deserved it 733

By deadhamster - 03/02/2012 18:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 436

You deserved it 5 044

By Anonymous - 29/10/2012 05:46 - United States

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 120

You deserved it 28 784

By starfishedasshole - 30/03/2014 16:50 - United States

Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 047

You deserved it 4 346

By kingpin9219 - 30/05/2011 04:29 - Canada

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 085

You deserved it 52 431

By bTOhno - 13/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 053

You deserved it 4 731

vrossie_ 15

Saturday 28 September 2013 5:03

Can't you call then cops for that? ..

123amanda123 14

Saturday 28 September 2013 5:04

the poor hamster! :(

Comments

spluver0005 17

Saturday 28 September 2013 5:08

Awww that poor hamster:(

xSlendamon 4

Saturday 28 September 2013 5:08

Man that bitch has issues

olpally 32

Saturday 28 September 2013 5:09

Glad my psycho ex never did that. Jesus :/ restraining order anyone? My god.

hazardmuffin 21

Saturday 28 September 2013 5:10

This is awful. Breaking and entering. Animal cruelty. Insanity. Call the cops, OP. This girl's got serious issues...

jessBeAqueen 13

Saturday 28 September 2013 5:10

oh my god. i probably would've stabbed her in return. that ******* bitch! .

yellowaholic 25

Saturday 28 September 2013 5:11

Oh that's terrible, I would definitely call the police, they can at least do something for breaking and entering.

dangerika93 11

Saturday 28 September 2013 5:11

You sure know how to pick them! ;)

MRVOlivia 22

Saturday 28 September 2013 5:11

What. The. ****. What kind of psychopath takes it out on a poor hamster?

zandalee 19

Saturday 28 September 2013 11:33

And with a fork. That is just evil!

phoneYuNOlisten 16

Sunday 29 September 2013 5:29

That's forked up! Oh shit too spoon? edit: I couldn't help myself I am truly sorry OP that you had been with that bitch...

tannara 12

Saturday 28 September 2013 5:11

Imagine what she's been making you for dinners, but that's seriously messed up:( RIP hammy

pikachulove14 14

Saturday 28 September 2013 5:12

what.the.actual.****.

Keywords

Parents Relatable Work Awkward Job interview Social Media Jealousy Love Facebook Friends Relationship advice AITA Kids Roommate Shoes Annoying Music Names Customers Capitalism Money Education Gamers Weird Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Dogs Allergies Embarrassing

The Top

Today, my dad brought home a used hunk of junk from someone he knew. It was covered in rust and dents, and the engine was making weird noises. Thinking he was being generous, he said to me, "When you get your license, you'll be driving it!" It then died with a loud bang and black smoke from under the hood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 85

Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 288

You deserved it 3 430

The Top

Today, my wife is mad at me because she’s had to stop seeing her closest friend because of me. Why? Because her friend is stalking me, keeps asking me to divorce my wife, and has even broken in and stolen my stuff, forcing me to involve the police several times, and somehow this is all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 86

Today, I was telling my friend how much I love my 20-year-old kitchen scale, because it has this one handy function that even new ones don’t have. Later, my mom melted it on the stove and isn’t even convinced she should buy me a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 77

Today, the guy I've been talking to for two months told me he hooked up with a girl last night, before blocking me on everything. I also was with him last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 874

You deserved it 199

Today, at work, a customer ordered a caramel latte with no caramel. I made a regular latte after explaining that’s what it was. He got angry and threw it at me. I got fired for insulting his intelligence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 961

You deserved it 301

Today, I was walking down the hall from the livingroom. I overheard my mom telling someone how proud she was of her baby girl and how much she loved her. I thought she was referring to my first ever all "A" report card. Turns out my new kitten used its litter box correctly for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 062

You deserved it 3 585

Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 841

You deserved it 9 883

Same thing different taste

Not so anal retentive then…

Top comments

Comments