Money: Today, I bought a textbook for my college class. Not only is... - FML

By defrauded - 08/03/2013 18:44 - United Kingdom - Oban

Today, I bought a textbook for my college class. Not only is the £150 book only sold by our teacher, it turned out to be a piece of shit that he obviously wrote, printed, and stapled together at home. When I went to the faculty about it, I was told it's all perfectly legal, and to drop it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 724

You deserved it 3 048

Broken heart

Dysfunctional

Fire hydrant

By misoranomegami - 21/06/2014 02:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 623

You deserved it 16 289

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, my dad decided to clean out my car and "accidentally" threw away my $520 tax refund check. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 073

You deserved it 6 797

By Lilly - 30/10/2012 18:45 - United States

Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 850

You deserved it 4 327

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 22:46 - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, while at work I got a complaint from a guest. She complained that after spending 2 hours to get her hair done for a wedding, she got drenched with water from a child. I work at a WATER PARK. Thank you for calling me a pathetic asshat for no reason in front of other guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 117

You deserved it 1 238

By whykarma - 26/03/2013 21:17 - United States - Waxhaw

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 852

You deserved it 3 487

By Teamarie - 11/08/2009 15:21 - United States

Spicy

Today, as I was driving my dad home, I got a text message. My dad, who doesn't want me texting while I'm driving, decided to read the text message to me. He began to repeat a message from my boyfriend recounting the amazing sex we had the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 749

You deserved it 20 824

By Ishikur - 03/02/2016 13:33 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I tried to explain autism to my classmates. One of them, a professional cunt who's always looking for an excuse to lecture people, accused me of being "ableist" because my explanations weren't accurate, and said I shouldn't explain things I don't understand. I'm actually autistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 424

You deserved it 1 624

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 374

You deserved it 11 026

By x0SoReckless0x - 16/11/2009 11:39 - United States

Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 271

You deserved it 3 450

By fuckmylife - 02/02/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 349

You deserved it 39 336

By fuundmental/// - 09/04/2011 05:46 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 547

You deserved it 9 938

Voice over

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 00:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I realized anytime I try to say anything, relatives will talk over me, change the subject, or go off on tangents about ancient family history that I don't want to hear for the 1000th time. Yet if I interrupt them once, I'm the bad one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 67

By crazystuff23 - 01/06/2009 16:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 594

You deserved it 5 815

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 00:55 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 963

You deserved it 4 639

By kitkat1740 - 17/11/2015 00:21 - United States - Concord

Today, I called my boss to ask if my paycheck had been deposited yet. He said no, that my grandmother came in to work and picked it up. Confused, I called her. She is holding it ransom until I start calling home every day. I do, but she gets so drunk, she doesn't remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 145

You deserved it 1 898

By sofargone420 - 29/07/2011 14:27 - United States

Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 556

You deserved it 10 497

By cunting cuntface of a boss - 25/02/2014 20:42 - Australia

Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 065

You deserved it 3 460

By jdsksoapy - 30/03/2009 20:16 - United States

Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell". FML

I agree, your life sucks 210 730

You deserved it 34 929

By ournhd - 13/11/2009 06:11 - United States

Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 151

You deserved it 3 113

By dJ21 - 15/12/2009 09:23 - Guam

Today, I was at the airport getting ready to go to Hawaii. The guy at the counter said my flight was delayed. It turns out that the flight that was delayed was a flight going to Miami. My flight left at the regular time, and my luggage was on it, because I checked in the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 398

You deserved it 3 708

By Random Person - 21/11/2010 05:31 - United States

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant downtown with my brother in-law when I told him I couldn't eat any more. He then told me, "You better, or you're walking home." He wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 360

You deserved it 3 570

By Anonymous - 14/09/2011 18:21 - United States

Today, I finished the first month of a diet and exercise program designed to help me lose weight. To keep myself motivated, I have avoided the scale the entire time. I weighed myself today. I've gained 6 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 614

You deserved it 5 924

By Anonymous - 03/08/2012 14:52 - United States

Today, I took my first fare as a qualified taxi-driver. The pride soon diminished as I was forced to listen to my passenger give a greatly detailed description of his recent colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 576

You deserved it 2 440

By Mary - 10/07/2011 12:49 - United States

Today, my husband decided he needs to be thanked after every time he changes our daughter's diaper; if not he throws a temper tantrum. Now I have two babies to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 249

You deserved it 6 785

By Anonymous - 11/08/2010 01:05 - United States

Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 571

You deserved it 3 827

By VDM - 03/06/2013 21:16 - France - Poissy

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 523

You deserved it 8 209

By notthatkinkyanyway - 13/11/2011 12:46 - China

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 479

You deserved it 6 359

By TingBarter - 09/07/2009 15:00 - United States

Today, I heard a student in the class I assist having trouble with a download. I walked over and showed him how to save to his flash drive, and how to use 7z to unzip said file. I then found out I'd just assisted him in downloading a half gig of porn during class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 748

You deserved it 9 522

By Anonymous - 30/08/2019 22:00

Today, I told my boyfriend about a friend-with-benefits that I had before him, and he dumped me because I’m still friends with that person, and I didn’t tell him about him right away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 2 541

By Anonymous - 06/05/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to jump out from behind the bedroom door to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. I slipped and broke two ribs when I hit the ground. Instead of a sexy birthday evening, he got to take me to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 383

You deserved it 1 370

By Shelby - 19/06/2012 16:38 - United States - Nokomis

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 862

You deserved it 17 257

Travel gift

By Anonymous - 22/12/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 2 767

By mainche - 20/01/2009 07:13 - France

Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 106

You deserved it 6 779

By Not a day over 35 - 18/06/2013 13:06 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 566

You deserved it 5 810

By CheeseMonsters - 24/01/2010 12:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 382

You deserved it 3 416

By 918boyz - 04/02/2009 22:23 - United States

Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 748

You deserved it 2 602

By jsmills92 - 21/12/2012 00:26 - United States - Cranston

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 352

You deserved it 4 425

By Anonymous - 25/01/2012 02:58 - United States

Today, the office tough guy learned how to use the fire extinguisher. On me. I wasn't on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 857

You deserved it 2 499

Not a car person

By Vehophobic - 21/09/2020 07:05 - United Kingdom - Hounslow

Today, my grandfather called me for the first time since lockdown. Just like the last 3 times we spoke, he tried to pressure me into learning to drive, despite my making it clear that it absolutely terrifies me. He won't stop asking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 629

By MushyKetchup - 14/08/2015 07:01 - United States - Amarillo

Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 152

You deserved it 1 974

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Top comments

littlemonster94 15

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Saturday 9 March 2013 3:11

You can't trust the system! Throw it on the ground! Okay, I'm sorry.

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Saturday 9 March 2013 3:16

Buy it, then take a picture of every page, put it on the Internet charge 1$ for an acc. Make money.

Comments

littlemonster94 15

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Saturday 9 March 2013 3:11

You can't trust the system! Throw it on the ground! Okay, I'm sorry.

captainObviously 15

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Saturday 9 March 2013 4:24

Happy birthday to the ground!!

littlemonster94 15

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Saturday 9 March 2013 6:37

I'm an adult!

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Saturday 9 March 2013 15:03

MAN!

ScaughtieHolden 11

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Saturday 9 March 2013 15:25

I don't need no handouts.

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Saturday 9 March 2013 17:08

My dads not a phone!

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Saturday 9 March 2013 18:13

I ain't gonna be part of this system

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Sunday 10 March 2013 15:04

Pump that garbage in another mans face.

littlemonster94 15

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Monday 11 March 2013 4:26

What do I look like, a charity case? .... GROUND!

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Saturday 16 March 2013 6:01

The ground is green!

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Saturday 9 March 2013 3:14

Burn it in front of the professor. :D

starbunnytwinkle 3

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Saturday 9 March 2013 4:54

The professor probably wouldn't care anyways, after all, he still got her money...

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Saturday 9 March 2013 5:16

I like 2's thinking. It's still disrespectful, just like what the professor's doing. Respect is a two-way street. If he's not going to give it to OP, he doesn't deserve it back. Although, going that out of the way to try and disrespect him might be a little drastic.

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Sunday 10 March 2013 23:22

Nah, photocopy it mass produce it and sell it at £20 a peice

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Saturday 9 March 2013 3:15

This is only the beginning, you will soon find out that the world is filled with selfish greed

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Saturday 9 March 2013 3:16

Buy it, then take a picture of every page, put it on the Internet charge 1$ for an acc. Make money.

enormouselephant 15

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Saturday 9 March 2013 4:11

Or partner up with a group and make photocopies:)

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Saturday 9 March 2013 4:47

4 that's what you call business

ironichalibut 24

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Saturday 9 March 2013 5:04

34- The perfect 3 point plan. Idea, Market, Profit. You'd pass an economics class with a model like this. Except that it's illegal, but no one's watching them so who's watching you?

license2chill 5

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Saturday 9 March 2013 5:35

On one hand, very smart, recouping the losses, on the other, the prof can sue you for copyright, since you are making a profit from it. What I would suggest is that, the whole class only buys one book, scan it to PDFs, and distribute between classmates discretely.

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Sunday 10 March 2013 13:56

I doubt the book is copyrighted because the professor printed and stapled it together at home. Scan away!

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Thursday 31 March 2016 3:16

That's genius and fullproof... OP should definitely do that.

misspulkadot24 17

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Saturday 9 March 2013 3:18

Hey, they have the power to give or take that passing grade to let you graduate. With great power comes great responsibility...and apparently publishing rights.

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Saturday 27 September 2014 11:16

In the UK, the teacher does not decide on your grade, they mark your tests, but a handful are sent off for moderation to ensure he is giving fair grades to everyone.

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Saturday 9 March 2013 3:20

Shovw the book up the professor's ass, since the book is full of shit.

accioshannon 17

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Saturday 9 March 2013 3:22

I feel as if that's a "last resort" course of action.

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Saturday 9 March 2013 5:36

According to OP, he pulled it out of his ass. It would only be fair to put it back where it belongs.

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Saturday 9 March 2013 3:20

Scumbag teacher...

ihaveasushicat 24

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Saturday 9 March 2013 3:21

Well if he wrote it, he will probably teach out of it. And if it's a piece if shit, like you claim, at least it will be easy to study and past his class?

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Saturday 9 March 2013 4:23

College professors love selling students their book and then never actually using it just to make extra cash

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

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Saturday 9 March 2013 4:48

9-- what's a sushi cat?

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Saturday 27 September 2014 11:17

No, because in England it is a national test, so if the teacher teaches the wrong thing, you'll fail the test

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Saturday 9 March 2013 3:24

Some publishing companies give rewards to professors who require their book. I had a few classes that we never even needed to open required books for the course.

lubbockgaymale 7

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Saturday 9 March 2013 3:27

The great higher education system at work! I had a professor in a masters' level BA course require we purchase a $60 'manual' at a copy center.... turns out it was all photocopies of articles from business magazines, some over 20 yrs old!, and I later found out he got 50% of the sales back in his pocket! Of course, he didn't lecture on any of the material, and it was never in a test. Oh, and the 'manual' couldn't be sold back as a used text, of course!!!!

Nearly

Today, I realized that I wore ripped jeand AND ripped boxers to work. Both ripped at the same place, in between the legs. The result was my looking down and seeing my dick halfway out of my trousers. I can't get up from my seat the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 18

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 18

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 148

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 418

You deserved it 102