Today, I bought my very first college textbook. I received a... - FML

By toothbreaker - United States - Tucson

Today, I bought my very first college textbook. I received a stack of hole-punched papers. My $195 "book" isn’t even bound together. FML

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Get out while you still can

Deception

Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not

By Stormy - United States

Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

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By Nutty - United States

Shush

Today, I was sitting next to this cute guy on an airplane who I had started talking to. There was still an empty seat between us and it seemed like there weren't any more passengers boarding the plane. I then asked out loud, "I wonder if anyone will sit between us?" He replied "I hope so." FML

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By the fish

Today, I started this show and was really confused what was happening until I realized I accidentally started from the last episode so I basically ruined the whole show for myself. FML

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By gwengas - France - Saint-ouen-des-alleux

Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML

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By broke

Today, I got better sleep in my 30-year-old compact car with it being 40 degrees outside than I did in my bed. Got something to look forward to, as I'll be homeless soon. FML

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By you'vegotmail(not) - United States - San Francisco

Today, I realized that I get more mail addressed to the old tenant of my apartment than to me. He hasn't lived here in years. FML

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By single - China

Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend told me he took pictures of me while I was sleeping. Instead of it being all cute like you see on social media, there's me sleeping with his dirty-ass sock on my face and him smiling in the background. FML

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By Joe - United States

Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I have been trying to buy a house and start a family together. Now I find out that he just spent $5000 on comic books. FML

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By Mahomie123 - United States

Today, I had an all day volleyball tournament in a town an hour away. My dad left early, not realizing he was my ride home. I'm now stranded in the middle of a rural town with no way home anytime soon. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML

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By kdubz23 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, the parent of a student called to ask me about a homework assignment. At the end of the call, she told me that I seem to be losing my "Asian accent" from when she first talked to me in the summer. I was born in the US, grew up in NJ and speak perfect English. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Kent

Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML

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By Jennnn - United States

Today, I was at a stop light when I saw a cute police officer at the light across the intersection. Trying to be cute as I drove by, I turned and winked and waved. The car in front of me stopped, I rear ended them and then got rear ended. The cute cop winked back, then wrote me a ticket. FML

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By Nickel

Today, my mom's friend came over. She brought her son and claimed that we could have bonding time. I ended up chasing the five-year-old around the house for an hour. After they'd left, my mom saw that the little kid had broken a lamp and a clock. She then said I had to pay for it using my money. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I found out I'm allergic to mosquito repellent. I fly out on a two month trip to India on Saturday. FML

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By ertyo - Romania - Oradea

Today, it's Christmas Eve. I was the happiest ever realizing that all the bills are paid, all the presents are bought, all the food is ready, and I still have some money left. This my biggest accomplishment so far as a young adult. Until I realized I don't have a tree. Adulting is hard. FML

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By bg4545 - United States - Whittier

Today, for some reason that is unknown to me, I accidentally referred to my girlfriend as "my ex-girlfriend." To her face. Needless to say, my statement became true afterwards. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

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By grandpa porn

Today, while I was walking to the kitchen, I heard someone on the TV moaning. As I made my way down the stairs, I saw my grandfather quickly change the channel and lean forward. I'm 90% sure I caught my grandpa watching porn. FML

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By boyishgirl - United States - Anchorage

Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was reminded that I used by dad's camera all summer to take naked pictures for boyfriend when my dad sent me an email saying: "FYI: when you delete pictures directly off the camera they get uploaded as trash files when the camera is connected to the computer." He saw them all. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Perth

Today, I was sitting on a rather small, uncomfortable bean bag while my friend was sitting on a nice chair. She asked if I wanted to switch seats, not so I could be more comfortable, but because she thought I was too fat and that I would burst the bean bag. FML

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By J - United Kingdom

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys... a big black rubber cock. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, the canine behaviour course I am studying released a new assignment in which I need to film myself teaching a dog a new trick. The only dog I have access to is my sister's neurotic, anxious Chihuahua who bites at any sudden noise. FML

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By DDboy

Going pro

Today, I got yelled at by one of the managers at my store for tucking in my shirt in the crew room. She called it unprofessional and offensive. It was my first day. FML

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By violetbcracecar - United States - Suisun City

Today, for the first time in my life, I have lice. The dog we rescued infested our house. No amount of showering has made me feel clean, and my bald husband just doesn't understand why I'm so bothered. FML

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By smiletellsall - United States

Is this a joke?

Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Grand Rapids

Marking territory

Today, while on a picnic with my boyfriend, he got a little drunk. All of a sudden, he got up, pulled his pants down and pissed all over me. His excuse? "Just marking my territory." FML

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By Username - France

Today, it was the hottest day of the year so I opened my sun roof. The hottest day of the year was followed by the biggest storm of the year. I forgot to close my sun roof and my car is now flooded. FML

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By stillsick - Canada

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

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By anon - United States - Dallas

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to sext before going to sleep. It was very late, but I said I'd stay up for him. He sent a text asking me if I was ready. Me replying "yes" was the last thing I remember before I fell asleep on my horny boyfriend. FML

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By No.Life. - United States

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

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By nofrickenway - United States - Newport News

Today, I found out that my unemployed and very needy mother-in-law will be moving in with us soon. And during my conversation on the phone with her, she expects us to buy a house and my wife and I can "live with her." My wife agrees with all of this. FML

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By carr - France

Today, my mother noticed that I hadn't taken the trash out in a few weeks and angry, piled various full trash bags on my bed. I've been away on holiday for the past three weeks, I guess she didn't notice that part. FML

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By anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

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By vikingunicorn - Canada

Today, I parked three streets away despite the ungodly cold. I did this because in the past, on my street, I have had my car keyed, my tires slashed, and my side view mirror ripped off. When I went back out to my car, I found that someone had broken off my windshield wipers. FML

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By natedudelol

#choices

Today, at the self-checkout, I didn't have enough money for honey, so I just walked out with it and ended up getting caught. Now I have to hold a sign in front of the store wearing a big bumblebee costume. FML

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Top comments

By TxKitten79 | 10

#7835547 - Thursday 22 August 2019 20:08

Yep. welcome to college. Take some advice... never buy new if you can help it. Google "buy used textbooks." You can save 50% or more on a lot of books by not buying new from the bookstore.

By smartjaguargurl | 17

#7835548 - Thursday 22 August 2019 20:09

Oh honey just wait. Welcome to college

COMMENTS

By Clovis | 2

#7835544 - Thursday 22 August 2019 20:02

I had that shit happen to me when I was in college. Its more common than it should be

By TxKitten79 | 10

#7835547 - Thursday 22 August 2019 20:08

Yep. welcome to college. Take some advice... never buy new if you can help it. Google "buy used textbooks." You can save 50% or more on a lot of books by not buying new from the bookstore.

Reply

smartjaguargurl | 17

#7835549 - Thursday 22 August 2019 20:09

Bookfinder.com is a lifesaver

Reply

kayakninja | 6

#7835641 - Friday 23 August 2019 3:05

It's probably an "updated version" that changed the numbers on 3 review questions so you can't use the old one anymore.

By smartjaguargurl | 17

#7835548 - Thursday 22 August 2019 20:09

Oh honey just wait. Welcome to college

By rockninja | 21

#7835558 - Thursday 22 August 2019 20:36

i really dont understand why they cant just be, idk, nice? textbooks cost already a shit ton if a money and they just wont the their job as well?

Reply

kfchicken | 31

#7835907 - Friday 23 August 2019 22:39

because they don't care about any student and they know they can do whatever they want without any consequences

By LadyRen | 20

#7835559 - Thursday 22 August 2019 20:51

Where did you buy it from? Double check if you selected “lose leaf” because that’s what you got. Just get a cheap binder and put it in there.

By Takegami | 22

#7835583 - Thursday 22 August 2019 21:42

Ah yes, college

By RichardPencil | 30

#7835603 - Thursday 22 August 2019 22:18

Then buy a nice $75 binder and you’ve got something special!

By CoriCat | 25

#7835605 - Thursday 22 August 2019 22:23

We’ve all been there bud

By Nathanael Johnson | 15

#7835625 - Friday 23 August 2019 1:06

Welcome to college, you have one of those professors who fancies himself an author but no publishers agree

By bewareimaninja | 5

#7835630 - Friday 23 August 2019 1:27

And they won’t buy it back. I have 3 still.