Today, I bought a fish bowl and a fish for $15. I brought him home and sat him on my desk. Everything was going well until the shelf gave out and his bowl slid off of the shelf... onto my $2,000 computer. The computer is fried and is not covered by the insurance, the fish is fine. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Clumsy nitwit
Today, while dropping files off at my boss's house, I tripped and fell into his fish tank. We both watched as a crack spread all the way across the glass and shattered, covering his carpet in fish and water. His only words to me were, "I'll see you at work tomorrow. Maybe." FML
Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML
Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML
Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML
Today, I woke up to my living room covered in 8 cm of water. My $2k computer was on that floor. FML
Not woke
Today, I was woken up by my phone alarm blaring at full volume. I grabbed it to hit snooze, but in my half-asleep state, I accidentally threw it across the room. It hit the wall, bounced off, and landed in my fish tank. My fish is fine. My phone is not. FML
Impatient fish
Today, two of my daughter's fish died after owning them for a year. Yesterday I spent $400 on a new bigger fish tank so that they would be happier. I built the stand, set it up, and got everything running. All I had to do was let it run for a week so that the pH would be fine for them, and then move them across. FML
Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML
Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML
Chunk of change
Today, I was just about to do an important presentation in front of my boss and co-workers. When, without warning I tripped in front of everyone and knocked a VERY expensive computer off the table. How do I know it was so expensive? I'm paying for it. FML
Top comments
stacysmom 0
What? Did you WANT the fish to get hurt?
Lokizzle 0
At least the fish is fine :P
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Comments (123)
ban4023 0
fish can survive anything
pgma14 0
hahahahaahah u motherfucking son of a bitch why the **** do u value a coputer more then a real life? if u love electronics that much ur have no life and ur a total geek who will neverhave a girlfriend mother ****** hahahahahahahhahahaha!!! LOSER espeacilly that fat bitch ass moron who keeps on arguing only DO SOMETHING ELSE intoxicunt PUSSY AS BITCH!
xacked 0
...err, you mean your $2005 fish is fine =)
pgma14 0
suck my dick motha fucka!
wolfy_fml 5
I'd have to say YDI. Never ever keep liquid around your computer. I have accidentally spilled a half glass of grape juice and a partial can of rootbeer into my wireless keyboard before... and that was a bitch enough to clean and get working again.
bubblybrooke 12
think of it this way- if you were the fish, would you rather die or have some inanimate object be destroyed? fish are living, breathing organisms too!
allmidnighteyes 11
They're also ******* delicious.
ISellHerbs 0
You're an 18 year old female trying to win fights over the internet. Give up, you're only proving how pathetic you are. Now let it go.
Intoxicunt 6
"Now let it go". Nice. Hypocrisy must be your hobby, huh? Who started shit out of nowhere just to be an annoying dipshit? Huh. I believe you're the pathetic one here. You also don't deserve to live for mentioning my gender. I'm not trying to "win" anything. I didn't know there was a medal for pointing out what a failure you are. So let's try this again. You're a 16 year old something who insults others because you think you're witty, then get on your high horse when they get a reply. You repeatedly say "let it go", though you don't understand the meaning of the words. You can't do math or read for shit, seeing as how you STILL think I'm 18 (moron). Aaaand, you call others pathetic. Conclusion: Your mother probably wishes she had aborted you. You are a hypocrite who accuses others of things and attempts witty insults to make yourself feel better.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Hotlobbies2 is probably a whiny, greasy child rubbing one off to thoughts of your science teacher, while typing idiotic insults with the other eight fingers. There ya go, Toxi :]
Intoxicunt 6
Bahaha, thank you! My day is perfect now. *Thumbs up*
Witchcraft_fml 5
I tried to edit it so it'd be clear I was talking about him, but I only got as far as putting in "hotlobbies2" and couldn't change "your" to "his". Not that he could recognise bad grammar, so I doubt he'd try to attack that. Thanks :D Also +1 to you for completely ripping him a new asshole :] That was amazing.
Mykeh 0
It was very entertaining to read. Nothing beats seeing a fool get a hard serving they deserve. I 'almost' feel sorry for hotlobbies2. That was ruthless.
Intoxicunt 6
Baha, some of mine didn't quite sound right, but it still blows his shitty typing out of the water. Haha, thanks. I enjoy it. :)
ISellHerbs 0
Math has absolutely nothing to do with not having clicked your page before. I thought you were 18 but I was wrong, you are actually one year younger and a whole life dumber. First of all, learn what hypocrisy is, because my comments have not shown the definition of the word. Maybe if you spent less time learning from the internet and more time learning from school, you wouldn't make ignorant use of words. Secondly, I called you pathetic, not anyone else, therefore maybe it is you that must learn proper reading comprehension. Since you must still be in school, I recommend maybe dropping the standard English classes and looking towards some classes of higher learinng which grant your mind a little more dignity. Third and I believe last, a conclusion in formal proofs or essays is supposed to be a statement which could only be deemed valid based on the facts given in the preceding paragraphs. Your abortion statement has no correlation to your arguement, therefore it cannot be proven true. That which is not true is false. I may be physically a year or so younger than you, but I can guarantee you decades ahead of you intelligence-wise. Another word of advice, never enter any altercation you are not sure you can win. To use an old phrase, I see you have engaged in this battle of wits, but you are clearly unarmed. Also, I do not believe that I should need to point this out, but notice how I didn't insult you through hateful comments such as your abortion statement. Actually that there was sort of an insult, although I already know what to expect from the ass end of Tennessee that is the Blue Ridge Mountains; and if you couldn't pick that up, I am also from Tennessee, Williamson County to be exact. So don't go off insulting my mathematics or reading skills, especially from hillbilly country, insulting someone from one of the top school districts in America.
Mykeh 0
Thank you for your essay but I believe you may have taken her comments out of context.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Did your mama write that novel for you? All of a sudden you're some intelligent, proper person? Sorry, but your trolling comments beg to differ. If you had half a brain you wouldn't have started the argument in the first place. "First of all, learn what hypocrisy is, because my comments have not shown the definition of the word. Maybe if you spent less time learning from the internet and more time learning from school, you wouldn't make ignorant use of words." -How the **** are you not a hypocrite? You said to get over it (and that you were, also), which you're clearly not. You told her to get a life, when you obviously don't have one yourself. By the way, good job going from being a presumptuous asshole with the "hillbilly country" line to a snotty little pisshead at the next. No one gives a **** where you go to school. All we see is your hypocrisy and idiocy. Maybe you should take that thesaurus you've clearly got sitting at your side, and beat yourself over the head with it. Does it include a dictionary? If so, look up "hypocrite"...you obviously don't know what it means.
Intoxicunt 6
Ok, so I can't keep responding. Not because I think anything you said was true. Simply because I'm breaking a lot of the FML rules, and I don't feel like doing that excessively. I complain about users like you, but I forfeit my right to when I join in the fighting. I may get back to this, but basically my response is "What Witchcraft said". By the way, Albert Einstein is a drop out. He didn't even go to the school the whole time, let alone go to "one of the top districts in the country". Thank you, Witchcraft. Your comment was amazing.
DrunkenValor 0
HAH! Where did you buy your clothes hotlobbies? THE TOILET STORE!?
Witchcraft_fml 5
Thanks, Toxi :] Always willing to help you out against people who insult for absolutely no reason.
CFR 0
Bahaha tough little bastards, those $5 fish. =P