Today, I bought a fish bowl and a fish for $15. I brought him home and sat him on my desk. Everything was going well until the shelf gave out and his bowl slid off of the shelf... onto my $2,000 computer. The computer is fried and is not covered by the insurance, the fish is fine. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while dropping files off at my boss's house, I tripped and fell into his fish tank. We both watched as a crack spread all the way across the glass and shattered, covering his carpet in fish and water. His only words to me were, "I'll see you at work tomorrow. Maybe." FML
Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML
Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML
Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML
Today, I woke up to my living room covered in 8 cm of water. My $2k computer was on that floor. FML
Today, I was woken up by my phone alarm blaring at full volume. I grabbed it to hit snooze, but in my half-asleep state, I accidentally threw it across the room. It hit the wall, bounced off, and landed in my fish tank. My fish is fine. My phone is not. FML
Today, two of my daughter's fish died after owning them for a year. Yesterday I spent $400 on a new bigger fish tank so that they would be happier. I built the stand, set it up, and got everything running. All I had to do was let it run for a week so that the pH would be fine for them, and then move them across. FML
Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML
Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML
Today, I was just about to do an important presentation in front of my boss and co-workers. When, without warning I tripped in front of everyone and knocked a VERY expensive computer off the table. How do I know it was so expensive? I'm paying for it. FML
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Top comments
stacysmom 0
What? Did you WANT the fish to get hurt?
Lokizzle 0
At least the fish is fine :P
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Comments (123)
crazynurse 0
I'm glad the fish survived, but you should never put water by electronics!
ISellHerbs 0
Honestly I was just baiting you to see how fast you'd reply. Calm down. If trying to fight with someone else over the internet really makes you happy then you need some hobbies.
Intoxicunt 6
I'M not the one trying to fight, in case you didn't notice. You made a snarky comment directed toward me. Who is it that needs hobbies again? You're a hypocrite, not to mention a total moron. Kthnxbai.
01100110 0
"$2000 computer... no insurance"
sweetpandora_fml 2
YDI for not realizing that fish bowl + computer was a bad combination AND for worrying more about a computer than about your pet's life.
missgreenday 0
Thank God the fish is okay!
allmidnighteyes 11
At least PETA are happy for you for not killing a fish (or according to them - "sea kitten")! Just kidding! lolololz! PETA can go snort coke off a hard dick and shoot up 8-Balls in their assholes. Oh, and so can hotlobbies2 :D
Intoxicunt 6
Agreed. :) [Just in case it puts this somewhere weird, this is at AME's #25]
allmidnighteyes 11
thanks, Toxi :]
violentturtle 0
LOL!
Intoxicunt 6
No problem, Hasian. :] That douchebucket appears to have left...for now.
ireply_w_lyrics 0
Haha, at first i thought you meant allmidnighteyes was turning 25 XD
Intoxicunt 6
Lol. TIME WARP!!!!! :D
allmidnighteyes 11
It's just a jump to the left!
ireply_w_lyrics 0
OH NO! Allmidnighteyes is a time traveller!! We must all throw goldfish at him until his powers are lost!!
Intoxicunt 6
Noooo! I'd rather him just take me with him. I want to be different. I'll jump to the right. Maybe I'll go back in time...?
ireply_w_lyrics 0
Wait, if jumping to the side puts you forwards or backwards in time, i shall jump forwards and move sideways in time. What would jumping sideways in time do?
Mykeh 0
Hahaha. I'm laughing at you.
allmidnighteyes 11
OP is a woman, you dumb ******* shitrag. I'm not even gonna pick apart the rest of the literary abortion that is your comment.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Wow. Not only did you just rape the English language, but you're telling other people to get a life and stop arguing when you're doing it yourself. Now, get a life, you filthy pathetic troll :]
allmidnighteyes 11
I would if you had one, babycakes.
allmidnighteyes 11
Toxi, if you come with me, your hands had better be on your hips with your knees brought in tight.
Intoxicunt 6
Well....ok, AME. Where is your twinny? I need her! ireply, alternate dimension!
ireply_w_lyrics 0
ireply demands to come back in time with you guys so he may buy an old ranchero back when they costed a couple thousand. And then he shall go into a different dimension to see what it is like. Purple sky???
Intoxicunt 6
You can't come. If we accidentally fuse together in the process, I want to be part Asian. :)
ireply_w_lyrics 0
pffft. Bullies not letting me come. I have already been accepted as an asian:P
Intoxicunt 6
Lies! I'll beat you with bamboo! >:[
ireply_w_lyrics 0
Ahaha, i was center for the asian line playing hockey, and am now part asian
Intoxicunt 6
You listen to too much country to be Asian. :)
ireply_w_lyrics 0
Pfft. Music doesnt make you Asian. Asian skills make Asians Asian
f_alltheirlives 3
I was going to say something witty...but rocky horror show is buzzing in my skull
redbluegreen 41
I'm giggling too much. Sorry I wasn't here! D: Who's Asian? Twinny's Asian! I'm the non cool one though.
purplepickle 0
PUT RICE ON YOUR COMPUTER!!! ASAP wait....how are you writing this anyway?
Rota 0
Haha it was probably a Mac at that price. You deserve it.
greenltrn2003 0
why is FML being idiotic?!