Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend, I went upstairs to shower. After turning it on, I found a huge pimple on my leg and the prospect of popping it excited me more than my boyfriend ever had in bed. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML
Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
brittbaybiee 0
ewww
alley_cat_118 0
#5: many guys (myself included) dig neck-biting without being vampires. #9: it doesn't take much to pop a pimple if it's already near bursting. Everyone else: you're absolutely right, this is beyond disgusting.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (1224)
forallitsworth 0
everything #10 said. & sorry :/
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
LOL #15. "it's just fat"
that_damn_friend 0
actually puss isn't just fat, it's dead white blood cells that, for all intensive purposes, "ate" the bacterial build up that resulted from a blocked sebum gland (which secretes oils which solidify to fats). :D and for that i feel sorry for the poor girl....yuck
CaligurlLULU 0
^^^ smarty pants B)
Astrum14 24
If he was a real smarty pants, he'd know it's "For all intents and purposes" not "For all intensive purposes".
Lola418 0
I am sorry but you are sick... tell him it is called soap and water. Maybe next time it wont happen.
DoomedGemini 37
Soap and water doesn't prevent pimples. It probably helps, but just because someone has pimples doesn't mean they don't wash themselves..
Dianegoesboom 0
I'm with #13 :(. I gagged:(.
perfection3 0
lmao thatss gross
dang_fml 0
that is disgusting.
peppy 0
Ewwwwwww eurgh, that's so gross, yet so plausible... I feel so bad for you.
pinkfrenchrose 5
O_O EW.
foolishwolf 0
holy christ that is gross... that sucks
Ivy_fml 0
wow, that was disturbing to read. I was eating toast and I completely lost my appetite...my dog is eating my breakfast now.