Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend, I went upstairs to shower. After turning it on, I found a huge pimple on my leg and the prospect of popping it excited me more than my boyfriend ever had in bed. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML
Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
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Top comments
brittbaybiee 0
ewww
alley_cat_118 0
#5: many guys (myself included) dig neck-biting without being vampires. #9: it doesn't take much to pop a pimple if it's already near bursting. Everyone else: you're absolutely right, this is beyond disgusting.
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Comments (1224)
could_be_funny 0
that is nasty...but how do you not see a zit that pops that easily?
nityasomaiya 46
With the lights off, in the dark, where sexy things happen.
oooh_dear 0
im pretty sure that thats not sanitary.
two_bears 0
Today, I was calmly reading stories on fmylife.com when I came across this one and nearly threw up everywhere. FML
canigothere_2010 0
hahahaha omg! this had 2b lyk da most DISGUSTING thing i've ever heard n my entire life! idk what i would do if that ever happened to me. next time, try to do a neck inspection b4 chowing down plz.
Brap_brap 0
Hunny, buy a dictionary Please!!
justagirl79 2
i agree
cierraashlee 5
Your funny!
Royalistic 8
FMLception
Ldy_S_FTW 0
omfg. thats just....yuck...i love my men w/ clear, baby smooth skin...
Fulisk 0
I don't think you get too many men with that, you're fairly ugly
sxdryv 14
Ugly!? Hardly. But a real man has hair on his body not like these primped up ken dolls of today. Same dudes that lower pick-UP trucks.
SuperSouper 0
Lml! Werd @Fulisk
Elizabeth McElveen Horne 19
Burn...
Mikeymikey 4
are u blind??? cudnt u bite him sumwhere where theres NO pimples??? u nearly deserved this one... but its tooo groosssss... ifeel bad 4 u. on the other hand. its just fat... its better than landing yr face into poo right?
TheBritishOne 0
I don't know about that. I think I'd prefer pooh rather then puss!!!! urg, so disgusting.
CaligurlLULU 0
actually, if ur necking your eyes are closed. you don't see it. durrr get ur facts right
iluffmcrandbvb 1
you'd know, wouldn't you.
onlyoncamera 0
I totally agree with you!! I feel really bad for the girl though =( Better luck next time…?
Slender_Man 6
I'm about to throw a ******* dictionary at your face.
apastry 6
omnomnom
69banana69 0
this guy^^^^^ WIN!!!!
Foster_33 4
ahaha major win
ffffssssdddd 0
lol
D3ADSN1P3R 2
oh shit had me die'n.over here lol omnomnom
mai1808 0
agree with #15. are your eyes closed that time? eeww. so gross. what does it taste like? lol
CaligurlLULU 0
your eyes are closed actually. I should know...
heliraptor 13
Not always, many people think eye contact makes it even hotter. You're welcome. :)
freaky_00 0
lol
Faced159 0
Wow. That was disgusting. lol @ 17
Brandon25 0
NASTY, you should have looked b4