Work: Today, I began the first week of my internship. When I arrived... - FML

By anonymous - 27/04/2017 21:00 - Germany

Today, I began the first week of my internship. When I arrived in the morning, I saw a paper on the door that said, “Business holidays. Back in two weeks!” My internship ends in two weeks. They completely forgot about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 314

You deserved it 289

Mama's boy

Walk the line

The sweet smell of success

By Sean - 07/09/2013 08:22 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I found out my kids only remember my birthday because it's the password on the iPad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 530

You deserved it 5 801

By Anonymous - 15/06/2014 19:22 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 920

You deserved it 6 358

By A girl - 27/06/2011 07:55 - Netherlands

Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 676

You deserved it 4 534

By Katyness - 10/05/2016 20:20 - United Kingdom

Today, the canteen of the company I work for introduced a cash-less payment method to purchase food. To use it, employees must download the app, which is only available for iPhones. I have a BlackBerry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 929

You deserved it 3 286

Artistic licence

By Anonymous - 16/04/2020 14:00

Today, after spending at least 4 hours drawing a realistic shadow of a vampire for a picture contest, I finally remembered that vampires aren't supposed to produce shadows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 182

You deserved it 662

By Anonymous - 08/02/2017 08:00 - Korea, Republic of - Pyongtaek

Today, I broke it off with my mistress so that I could work on my marriage. Shortly after, my wife received an anonymous message saying that I was unfaithful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 541

You deserved it 24 837

By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 15:23 - United States

Today, I lied when my therapist asked why I preferred Tuesday morning appointments. It's actually because World of Warcraft is down for regularly scheduled maintenance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 717

You deserved it 37 647

By again? - 15/03/2016 10:03 - United States - Olympia

Spicy

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring himself in the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 301

You deserved it 2 476

Who taught him

By Redbeard - 24/01/2020 05:00

Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 102

You deserved it 340

Still counts!

By Andrea Trevor - 07/08/2018 15:00

Today, I finally did the splits for the first time in my life! Unfortunately, it happened when I stepped in wet dog poop on my kitchen floor. One foot slipped forward in it, and I fell right on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 430

You deserved it 216

Bad job

By Anonymous - 17/04/2021 23:00

Today, I confirmed that my professor hates me. Weeks ago, I failed a paper for the first time, so I went to my professor, apologized profusely, and discussed my revision plan. I got his approval on my conclusions and added all the details he suggested. I then submitted my paper. I got my grade this morning: C-. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 223

By Anonymous - 16/07/2016 09:34 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, a customer tried to return some pricey lingerie. She said she didn't have the packaging, but had never worn them. The skidmark I accidentally touched begged to differ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 577

You deserved it 820

By I write sins not other people's essays - 12/05/2016 03:13 - United States - King George

Today, my mom woke me up in the middle of the night to make me help my brother write an essay. I read what he wrote so far, gave him my suggestions, and went back to bed. She woke me up 30 mins later because he just sat and stared at his paper instead of fixing anything. Somehow that's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 000

You deserved it 1 039

By Hopeless - 08/02/2011 03:22

Today, I found out the real reason why me and my boyfriend of four and a half months have "so much in common". He used to be my stalker, who followed me around in a black hoodie and always posted stuff on my Myspace as an anonymous person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 793

You deserved it 6 095

Delusions

By Ilikeurfmls - 06/09/2020 05:05

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents I think I'm suffering from schizophrenia. They refused to discuss it after telling me, "It's all in my head." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 526

You deserved it 111

By WhoLikesPie - 25/07/2015 15:51 - United States - Tampa

Today, I went to my girlfriend's job to surprise her for lunch, her manager said she hasn't worked on a Saturday in two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 225

You deserved it 2 081

By anonymous - 16/08/2015 03:16 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 225

You deserved it 2 072

By 0ros - 12/09/2009 22:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife and I were doing it when the phone rang. She answered it, and rode me while carrying on a more than a five minute conversation with her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 637

You deserved it 4 346

Have kid they said, it'll be great they said

By Anonymous - 24/09/2021 02:00

Today, my son is a real ass. My mother died and he literally only booked off half a day to attend his own grandmother's funeral, doesn’t plan to spend time with me after the burial, and since he booked it, all he has done is complain about the three meetings he’s going to miss that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 225

Impressive hairstyle

By Anonymous - 20/12/2019 20:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to the hairdresser and changed my hairstyle drastically. It wasn't until she was nearly done that she said, "I just KNEW this style wasn't going to suit you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 963

You deserved it 254

By Anonymous - 11/09/2013 08:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 255

You deserved it 3 457

By Noname - 19/01/2009 23:12 - Australia

Today, I was watching TV and realised I am attracted to Sandra Oh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 598

You deserved it 18 323

By worried - 01/04/2010 08:28 - Ireland

Today, I told my boyfriend that my period was now over three weeks late. He still doesn't believe me since it's April Fool's day. But I'm not kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 332

You deserved it 8 452

By anonymous - 18/03/2011 07:35

Today, I went to the airport to start the amazing 3 week vacation in Costa Rica that I've been saving for and planning for more than a year. They wouldn't let me on the plane because my passport expires in less than 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 152

You deserved it 13 812

By daughter - 05/08/2012 07:49 - United States - Kailua

Today, since I'm still recovering from my surgery and can't drive, my daughter drove me to the doctor. When I was done and walked outside, she was nowhere to be seen. Then I got a text: "Sorry, I forgot I have to be somewhere." The closest bus stop to our house is miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 718

You deserved it 2 358

By wife of a shithead - 06/07/2012 17:44 - Norway - Oslo

Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 274

You deserved it 4 742

That's a hard no from me, dawg

By soontobesingle - 19/03/2013 11:30 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 966

You deserved it 4 980

Rough school

By strayking - 24/05/2021 17:01

Today, my daughter admitted that she doesn’t have any friends at her elementary school. When I asked her why, she said it was because whenever she talks to any of the other kids, she gets punched in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 64

By Dina - 23/11/2008 09:24 - France

Spicy

Today, whilst chatting with my mum on MSN, she unintentionally sent me an animated emoticon of a penis jerking off repeatedly. I don't even want to know the type of conversation she was having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 629

You deserved it 2 862

I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself

By bored - 12/09/2019 00:02

Today, I found a deck of Uno cards. Being extremely bored, I decided to put them in order. I now know EXACTLY which cards I'm missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 351

Heist

By Pedro the Basuraman - 11/05/2018 20:30

Today, after 27 years of dedicated and loyal service, it finally happened, I was robbed at gunpoint at work. The whole heist only took about 30 seconds and the perpetrator took off without taking anything from me. I still don't get it. What kind of screwball would hijack a garbage truck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 295

You deserved it 188

Cars and cards

By Anonymous - 30/04/2021 18:30 - United States - Johnstown

Today, I took my car through the automated wash. I was too close to swipe my card, so the attendant reached for it and somewhere between our hands, the card fell into the grate and down a small crack 10ft into nasty water. The whole car wash was shut down to pull the massive grate up. It took about 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 128

By helloworld92 - 31/01/2009 20:33 - United States

Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple smirnoff, I puked up the Chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 080

You deserved it 8 008

By stupidassgeek - 15/06/2016 13:22 - Australia - Moonee Ponds

Today, I opened up my laptop to replace a faulty chip inside, which took me half an hour. When I closed it all up again, I saw the replacement part in its packaging on my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 390

You deserved it 5 752

Almost there

By fucksake - 05/10/2014 15:55 - Malaysia - Seri Kembangan

Spicy

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 160

You deserved it 4 648

By donguigeek - 24/12/2015 04:32 - France

Today, my 4-year-old son is distraught. This morning we saw a man, dressed as Santa, passed out drunk on a public bench. My son is now convinced that it was his corpse, and that Santa Claus is dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 345

You deserved it 1 949

Adding insult to injury

By robinhoood - 20/04/2009 05:53 - United States

Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours, while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up, my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 054

You deserved it 3 603

By Anonymous - 09/10/2010 04:06 - United States

Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 895

You deserved it 5 162

By Anonymous - 22/10/2018 13:30

Today, my manager told my shift that if we didn't have the quota filled for cinnamon rolls by tonight, we were all out of a job. One of the machines we use to wrap cinnamon rolls just started acting up. We also aren't allowed to take over time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 818

You deserved it 154

By John Doe - 29/01/2015 17:01 - United States - Columbia

Today, my parents continue comparing me to my "perfect" friend. He smokes dope, is a compulsive thief, and has gone to juvie numerous times. I'm passing school with flying colors and have never been in any trouble with the law. Apparently I should be more like him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 911

You deserved it 2 373

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Top comments

awildwhisper 30

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Thursday 27 April 2017 23:36

The way this is written I imagine a stranded kitten sitting outside a store in the rain crying to be let in because it's been forgotten outside.

Eashy 16

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Thursday 27 April 2017 22:01

Do you have the contact information of your temporary boss? If so call him and ask what you should do, or see if you can reschedule.

Comments

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Thursday 27 April 2017 21:22

that fucking sucks. Sorry to hear that man, don't give up though. ?

Eashy 16

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Thursday 27 April 2017 22:01

Do you have the contact information of your temporary boss? If so call him and ask what you should do, or see if you can reschedule.

awildwhisper 30

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Thursday 27 April 2017 23:36

The way this is written I imagine a stranded kitten sitting outside a store in the rain crying to be let in because it's been forgotten outside.

Send a private message

Friday 28 April 2017 0:11

Is it possible the sign is from 2 weeks ago and they're about to come back?

Send a private message

Friday 28 April 2017 0:39

Try to contact someone, and if you cannot, leave a note/show up after the two weeks! Make sure to take a picture of the note they put up so you have proof. (Especially if this is for a college course requirement!!)

Mairin Sheary Smith 9

Friday 28 April 2017 1:44

Who has a two week internship lmao

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Friday 28 April 2017 10:39

In Germany, 9th grade students have to do a 2-week-internship as a part of school to prepare for the "adult world".

heyhihello95 12

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Friday 28 April 2017 2:40

Are you sure it wasn't a prank? It's very coincidental.

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Saturday 29 April 2017 14:18

Was the notice dated?

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Wednesday 17 May 2017 19:50

Sign of a great company to work for, only a sample of what is to come. that suck so you go work for the competition shit on them every chance you get.

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Thursday 13 September 2018 0:07

a bit rr5se

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28

You deserved it 17

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 7

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 85

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 163

You deserved it 87