Love: Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into... - FML

By KAAALIS - 16/03/2009 02:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738 206

You deserved it 495 425

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/02/2014 19:49 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Kingshill

Spicy

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 292

You deserved it 19 273

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 083

You deserved it 40 020

By >{%£•¥ - 27/11/2010 07:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 060

You deserved it 4 151

Squirting the night away

By svet - 22/02/2009 02:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 502

You deserved it 84 214

Great expectations

By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 08:08 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, after making love to my boyfriend, I went upstairs to shower. After turning it on, I found a huge pimple on my leg and the prospect of popping it excited me more than my boyfriend ever had in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 384

By Mirroronthewall - 30/08/2009 15:22 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly lean in towards the mirror to pop the pimple meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 763

You deserved it 44 191

By fmlpanda - 29/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 851

You deserved it 8 368

A for effort

By NotsexyEnough - 23/11/2009 03:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 496

You deserved it 6 488

I'M SORRY!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 04:00

Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 570

Language of love

By TheGirl - 23/11/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 341

You deserved it 3 946

Next

Top comments

brittbaybiee 0

Monday 16 March 2009 12:05

ewww

alley_cat_118 0

Monday 16 March 2009 12:29

#5: many guys (myself included) dig neck-biting without being vampires. #9: it doesn't take much to pop a pimple if it's already near bursting. Everyone else: you're absolutely right, this is beyond disgusting.

Comments

th3wh1tee 0

Monday 16 March 2009 18:27

kinky ? Do you guys peel each others scabs too?

DottieGothicGirl 3

Monday 14 November 2011 8:23

Lol

kenyrabit 25

Saturday 4 June 2016 0:29

Best response!! Hey, some couples will pinch/pick each others acne.. Way to find the next step.

horsegirl724 0

Monday 16 March 2009 18:34

eww ew. ew ew ew. I would have thrown up

serious1y 0

Monday 16 March 2009 18:47

ewewewewewewew. ew.

Raven_fml 0

Monday 16 March 2009 18:47

Oh dude I totally had a nightmare about this once. ******* nasty.

1NinjaPaper1 0

Monday 16 March 2009 18:51

eeeeeewwwwwww. I've read so many wierd and nasty FML 's, but this one is probably the worst. Ew. You life really is F'd!

pommeblossom 0

Monday 16 March 2009 19:01

That's disgusting.

CB1994 0

Friday 25 March 2011 6:15

bout like u right? ^

kirstieviola 0

Monday 16 March 2009 19:03

omg, i could throw up right now. i'm sorry.

wtfxpaigerz 0

Monday 16 March 2009 19:11

#5 and #48.. Neck biting doesn't mean vampire fetish. Normally, it's not even technically biting, it's nibbling. Also, it feels good. If you feels so uncomfortable to venture outside of the "normal" circle, then I feel very sorry for you. Also. This is, by far, one of THE most disgusting things I have read. I don't think I'd be able to kiss him for awhile. Just too.. blegh yuck :|

kenyrabit 25

Saturday 4 June 2016 0:31

Right? Well... I bet she regrets venturing away from the normal!

abbles56 0

Monday 16 March 2009 19:12

*gags* i wouldnt be able to see him again.

OuttaMind 0

Monday 16 March 2009 19:12

Oh my God, Eww. I am so sorry.

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The Top

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I'd left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 308

You deserved it 3 970

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 452

You deserved it 3 567

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 109

Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a friend I hadn't seen in years. I was so excited to catch up with her that I ran across the street without looking and almost got hit by a car. I ended up stumbling out of panic and landed on a pile of trash on the sidewalk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 1 013

Today, I accidentally left my textbook at home. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but today was my class final. Since it was an open-book final, I'd decided not to study for it. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 355

You deserved it 38 512

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 902

You deserved it 41 986

Today, I was at work at an office store. I was instructed to put together several tape-free cardboard boxes. I then realized that I can disassemble and reassemble a computer with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back, but I was outsmarted by a cardboard box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 672

You deserved it 8 472

Today, my husband of 30 years told me that he thought we should 'just be friends'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 174

You deserved it 4 760