Love: Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into... - FML

By KAAALIS - 16/03/2009 02:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738 228

You deserved it 495 439

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/02/2014 19:49 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Kingshill

Spicy

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 294

You deserved it 19 276

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 085

You deserved it 40 021

By >{%£•¥ - 27/11/2010 07:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 061

You deserved it 4 151

Squirting the night away

By svet - 22/02/2009 02:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 502

You deserved it 84 215

Great expectations

By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 08:08 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, after making love to my boyfriend, I went upstairs to shower. After turning it on, I found a huge pimple on my leg and the prospect of popping it excited me more than my boyfriend ever had in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 385

By Mirroronthewall - 30/08/2009 15:22 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly lean in towards the mirror to pop the pimple meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 763

You deserved it 44 191

By fmlpanda - 29/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 851

You deserved it 8 368

A for effort

By NotsexyEnough - 23/11/2009 03:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 497

You deserved it 6 488

I'M SORRY!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 04:00

Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 572

Language of love

By TheGirl - 23/11/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 342

You deserved it 3 946

Next

Top comments

brittbaybiee 0

Monday 16 March 2009 12:05

ewww

alley_cat_118 0

Monday 16 March 2009 12:29

#5: many guys (myself included) dig neck-biting without being vampires. #9: it doesn't take much to pop a pimple if it's already near bursting. Everyone else: you're absolutely right, this is beyond disgusting.

Comments

ase97 0

Monday 16 March 2009 21:24

How bit was that pimple? I'm sorry, but it'd have to be HUGE before you pop it with a bite, IMO.

d00d_c0m3_0n 0

Monday 16 March 2009 21:26

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

butterflys322 0

Monday 16 March 2009 21:27

Today, my girlfriend and I were hooking up and she began to nipple and bite my neck. It felt fantastic until i felt a pain and realized that one of my pimples had popped in her mouth. FML ^^^that's more like it. but i'm so sorry, this is narstyyy.

celiaeatsballz 0

Monday 16 March 2009 21:28

That is mortifying. I am so sorry for you, absolutely a one in a million chance.

Lifeisfucked94 0

Monday 16 March 2009 21:34

oh my god ew. ew ew ew. ugh.

natividales 0

Monday 16 March 2009 21:34

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW that's just ****** up!

haha08 0

Monday 16 March 2009 21:36

OH MY GOD! THATS NASTY!!

Enciexoxo 0

Monday 16 March 2009 21:37

just 10 seconds ago, i went through all the work of creating an account on this website just to tell you that that is hands down, the nastiest FML i have EVER read........really. *shudder*

AshlenDoll 0

Monday 16 March 2009 21:50

THAT'S DISCUSTING! i think i just gaged like 10 times. dlksajdsak. ew. sorry.

nerdgrl128 0

Monday 16 March 2009 21:51

I am so so sorry that that happened to you i just gagged about 4 times. thats really gross...im so sorry

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 3

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turdwaffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 394

You deserved it 3 447

The Top

Today I got sunburned on my cheeks. This wouldn't be too bad if they were the ones on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 222

You deserved it 4 253

Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 699

You deserved it 6 897

Today, I've been on the verge of throwing up all day. Why? My dog is intolerant to grain, but grain-free dog food causes heart problems so she can't have that. Now our lives are filled with nasty farts and Hershey squirts with no end in sight. It's a rough time for us both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 480

You deserved it 335

Today, I found out the off-duty cop who beat my face in front of a dozen witnesses was wasn’t even charged with assault. I have court in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 153

Today, I stood in line for one hour to get a new phone. It then took me 2 minutes to drop it and shatter the screen, and 2 seconds for the employee to look at, laugh, and tell me, "That Sucks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 532

You deserved it 32 178

Today, in a restaurant, staff asked me to fix my skirt because multiple customers complained my buttcrack was putting them off their food. I thought the waiter was using fake complaints to justify his rudeness, but when I got up to fix it fully, half the restaurant applauded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 1 996