Love: Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into... - FML

By KAAALIS - 16/03/2009 02:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738 250

You deserved it 495 449

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/02/2014 19:49 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Kingshill

Spicy

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 294

You deserved it 19 276

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 085

You deserved it 40 021

By >{%£•¥ - 27/11/2010 07:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 061

You deserved it 4 153

Squirting the night away

By svet - 22/02/2009 02:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 503

You deserved it 84 217

Great expectations

By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 08:08 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, after making love to my boyfriend, I went upstairs to shower. After turning it on, I found a huge pimple on my leg and the prospect of popping it excited me more than my boyfriend ever had in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 386

By Mirroronthewall - 30/08/2009 15:22 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly lean in towards the mirror to pop the pimple meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 763

You deserved it 44 191

By fmlpanda - 29/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 851

You deserved it 8 368

A for effort

By NotsexyEnough - 23/11/2009 03:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 497

You deserved it 6 488

I'M SORRY!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 04:00

Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 572

Language of love

By TheGirl - 23/11/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 342

You deserved it 3 946

Next

Top comments

brittbaybiee 0

Monday 16 March 2009 12:05

ewww

alley_cat_118 0

Monday 16 March 2009 12:29

#5: many guys (myself included) dig neck-biting without being vampires. #9: it doesn't take much to pop a pimple if it's already near bursting. Everyone else: you're absolutely right, this is beyond disgusting.

Comments

jonnysox13 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 5:12

wow that's the nastiest thing I have heard in a long time

Kellayy 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 5:33

I would throw up. you couldn't see that thing taking residence on his neck? :P

superzombie 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 5:38

I think you just may be the worst vampire. ever.

fmlbaby_fml 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 5:59

ughhh... *gag* I really feel nauseous from reading this. Not only does this totallllly suck for you, but its mortifying for him. Hope he doesn't read FML or the embarrassment is going to increase 10 fold! Time to book an appointment with a dermatologist. Seriously!

citylights 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 6:02

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that's friggin rank

Taihen 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 6:07

Yeah, that's a little bit sickening. There went eating those girl scout cookies I bought... FYL. Seriously. Like big time.

Marysenjo 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 6:10

this. is. SO. disgusting, ugh. if that had happened to me i'd have thrown up immediately :-X

Mikeymikey 4

Tuesday 17 March 2009 6:21

Popping Pimples.... Ure doing it WRONG!!!! oh well yea i realised in pimples there's fat, pus and sometimes blood... mmmh... lol i bet ure scared as shit now whenever u see pimples. and uve got yr eyes wide opened!! oh well, to all those who nearly puked or cudn't eat their lunch or breakie after reading this .... damn send them to me. im starving here at work....

tateno 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 6:32

ahhhhhhhhh thats so gross!

superson_fml 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 6:35

shit shit shit shit i need to forget this story or i'll never be able to bite any guy ever again

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Keywords

Gun control Pranks Parents Miscellaneous Awkward Health Stalker My ex Kids Relatable AITA Love Sex Customers Work Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Management Geek Periods Dating Sexism Relationship advice Anxiety Birthday Restaurants Shopping Clothes Cleaning Haircut

The Top

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 985

You deserved it 3 134

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 880

You deserved it 7 381

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for a second time. When I was getting dressed afterwards with him sitting next to me, there was a silence. To break it, he grabbed my hand and fistbumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 531

You deserved it 404

Today, my parents made me quit a school team that I absolutely loved, because women "aren't supposed to play sports." and were worried that if I stayed on the team, I'd develop a manly physique. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 957

You deserved it 2 163

Today, someone at work took my delicate medication out of the fridge to make room for their lunch. Now my medication has expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 713

You deserved it 2 884

Today, my boyfriend is mad at me for causing him to fail a science test. Apparently he thought I was serious when I told him that homo sapiens were extinct because they were "homo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 296

You deserved it 3 950

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because of 'creative differences', as she put it. The real reason is that we couldn't decide which cupboard the plates should have gone in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 028

You deserved it 4 409

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 737

You deserved it 3 487