Today, I asked my shut in of a daughter why she was sniffing black pepper. She said she was practicing to make her sneezes sound like coughs, thereby decreasing the likelihood of someone talking to her. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
#blessed
Today, I had to let my nosy landlord into my apartment to ensure I didn't have an unapproved guest over. Why? Because she overheard me sneeze, and then bless myself. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It's cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML
Weird kid
Today, my ten-year-old daughter now has a habit of going up to random strangers and acting all scared before pointing behind them and whispering, "El Diablo." FML
Wrong drugs
Today, my nose was really stuffed up and I was out of cold medicine. I heard spices may help with this kind of problem. Unfortunately I thought red pepper would be a great thing to snort at the time. Not only is my nose still stuffed up but I also have immense nasal pain. FML
Tasty treat
Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML
Today, my raving lunatic mother screamed at me for being "disrespectful", threatened to not pay for my college, swore at me, and accused me of having multiple personality disorder, all in rapid succession. This was provoked by me sneezing. FML
White line fever
Today, I've been using a lot of Flonase recently for my stuffy nose, and my 4 year-old happens to call it "mommy's special nose medicine" out loud all the time. My neighbors now think I do cocaine. FML
The babysitter's handbook
Today, I am babysitting my niece for the first time. After getting her to go to sleep, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze. My sneezes are loud as hell. Attempts to dampen the sound were unsuccessful. My colossal sneeze scared the bejesus out of her, waking her up again, and now she's afraid of me. What do I do now? FML
Top comments
thatfmlguy25 21
She might have social anxiety. Talk to her more, its a great start to help ease it.
minnymau5 5
OP, maybe you should look into helping her break out of her shell. Her level of introvertedness sounds kind of extreme.
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Comments (50)
RedPandax 23
She probably has anxiety. Take her and force her to go out with you to places. She might hate you at first for it, but she might enjoy it. I used to be really socially awkward and avoided social events all the time, but my one and only friend would force me to go with him to places like the movies or the carnival and I really enjoyed it afterwords. I'm not saying this will work, but maybe it's ought a try. She's just not used to social events and maybe if she experiences them more she'll grow comfortable with it?
xoteeshaox 22
There's a difference between social awkwardness and social anxiety. If she's sniffing peppers to stop people from talking to her, it's more than likely anxiety, in which case, forcing her out to social events could very likely send her into panic attack, which depending on severity, could put her in hospital.
RedPandax 23
I have social anxiety too, I should have specified that in my response, I'm not saying its full proof, its just how I got over some of my social anxiety. I can't stand crowds and I become very aggressive and panicked in crowds, which is why my friend goes everywhere with me. I can't go to public bathrooms because I can't use it if other people are in the bathroom, I can't even make eye contact and other stuff. I've taken therapy for it for years.
Ichiya 29
I almost go into a panic attack just trying to place my order at a fast food restaurant. If someone forced me to go out where a bunch of people are I would never speak to them again.
RedPandax 23
#24, I'm just sharing how that has helped me because therapy hasn't helped me. I guess it really just depends on how bad your social anxiety is and the fact that I live in a small town means when me and my friend goes to places there's not 100 people there.
smallandroid 26
My dad doing this to me is one of the significant reasons why my social anxiety is so out of control these days. You should never force someone into something like that. Take her to a therapist where the therapist can recommend for her to do little things at a time to overcome her social anxiety. Let her take controlled, safe steps to get better.
EsDeeCee 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Then grow some balls
Ichiya 29
I don't want help with my condition. In my opinion 99% of the population aren't worth bothering with and I hate the other 1% lol.
9a_1z 12
I think maybe the key is support rather than force, encourage her and help her feel safe in a social setting - arm her with coping methods to deal with it. Forcing her is just setting her up to fail, which will obliterate her self-confidence.
RedPandax 23
#63, I didn't mean like mean forcing her. I suppose I should've been more specific in my comment, I apologize. The way my friend does it is that he'll tell me about it, what we'd be doing and assuring me if I get uncomfortable I can just ask him to leave, but he tales me weather or not I want to go at first.
megansheeran 21
#36 Social anxiety isn't something that you can switch off whenever you want to. Just because the fear doesn't seem rational to someone who doesn't suffer from it, doesn't mean that it isn't a huge deal to the person who does. It takes time to get it under control.
Sciath13 14
And I thought my social anxiety was bad... Wow, sorry OP, have you spoken to her about it? Really discussed it, I mean; not mother daughter banter and such. She needs to know that she has a support system, it'll help her deal a bit.
Keiraquarium 12
Maybe you should look into getting her some help instead of posting this on the internet. I mean I get that you could already be looking into it but your name is 'my daughter fails at life'... not cool. Maybe you fail at being a parent.
cocainewhore 30
I would say the OP definitely fails at being a parent, since instead of helping her daughter's obvious social anxiety issue, she's claiming said daughter 'fails at life' and is publicly shaming her. Talk to your daughter OP, don't be an asshole about it, anxiety can be a very serious condition, your daughter deserves support not mockery.
hoosiergirl94 31
Weirdo
erindgentry 28
#14 you're an asshole
megansheeran 21
Your inability to understand what it feels like to have social anxiety doesn't make her weird.
Megatron_Griffin 25
Maybe you should try to help your daughter instead of wining about her obvious social anxiety.. Your user name pisses me off so much...i have extreme social anxiety but my parents helped me over come them rather than assuming I'm a failure. [removed] **** your daughters life
SecundusSecunda 27
I agree with you, 15 Except for the F her daughter's life. Her daughter can't help it, she obviously needs help as does the OP.
Megatron_Griffin 25
I just say f her life because of the way her mother seems to be mocking her anxiety. Yes this is a strange thing to do but her mom should take it as a reason to help her, not post about it on the internet...i dont mean to get so fired up about something that shouldn't affect me...i just have been mocked about my anxiety and couldnt imagine having my parent assume I was a failure because of it :/
laden_swallow09 35
Well? How are you supposed to get ahead anywhere if you don't talk to anyone in the workplace, regardless of where you earn your paycheck? If it's that bad to the point where you're a literal shut-in, I have news for you…
Megatron_Griffin 25
I myself am not a shut in but i have issues with meeting people, i get the most panicked feeling when I have too. My parents helped me through it. Like i said, I'm sorry i got fired up, it just grinds my gears that she referes to her daughter as a failure. When i was young my parents actually contributed alot to it....as theyd get mad if i talked too much or got excited about what i talk about. Even when people start talking to me first, i have this fear that they regret interacting with me. Now that I'm older, my parents encourage me to get out there and try. Maybe OP has tried to help her daughter, i dont really know, the user name just got to me. My first comment was moderated for a reason, i got fired up and was disrespectful. I'm sorry to any who disagree, this one just kinda hit me hard.
Megatron_Griffin 25
To the FML staff..i notice my comment isn't moderated anymore, don't know if you guys will see this, but my apologies. I know we aren't supposed to insult eachother on here, just got carried away. Thanks for fixing it
Sirin_fml 47
No big deal, you're cool and polite about it. Though the whole thing could be a lot more light-hearted than you think - not every FML's situation is dead serious.
Megatron_Griffin 25
Yeah, As far as i know OP and her daughter could have had a laugh about the whole thing. I just kinda took it a little too hard
hmrhoades 18
My sneezes actually sound like coughs. People just say, "What the heck was that?!" It used to embarrass me.
SecundusSecunda 27
People still ask me if I "sneezed or cough??" It happens lol
Red_Curls1995 28
Sometimes I have to ask people if it was a cough or a sneeze because I get so anxious that I'm not being polite by not saying bless you
beeferjay 34
I don't blame her, most people are not worth talking to
BitterSavage 20
Sounds like social anxiety.. and your name makes it sound like you're not a very helpful mother.
Angelkisses130 26
How dare you call your daughter a a shut-in on the Internet. I hope you don't say things like that to her face either, because a mother saying hurtful things like that often can really mess up their daughter. Trust me, I would know. Instead of back-talking her to internet strangers, help her cope with whatever social anxiety she's going through
countryb_cth 38
I deffinatly agree with you. Plus her user name says my daughter fails at life. I really don't think having that kind of mentality around your daughter would be helpful in any way. She could be making a cry for help and all her mom is doing is making fun of her.
dyscomonkee 12
I don't get it. How does a sneeze sounding like a cough keep people away?
Cathrin 26
No-one says "Bless you" when you cough
countryb_cth 38
And people usually think you're sick if you cough so it makes them reluctant to hang around.