Today, my ten-year-old daughter now has a habit of going up to random strangers and acting all scared before pointing behind them and whispering, "El Diablo." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML
Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML
Today, and for the past week, my 5-year-old daughter has been introducing herself as “Mazda. Zoom-zoom!” FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
rainbowdonnareed 18
So did you tell her to stop? Take away screen time?
cuz803 46
Madre de Dios. That's a messed up sense of humor for someone so young.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
rainbowdonnareed 18
So did you tell her to stop? Take away screen time?
gluskab 3
yes! there is a teaching moment on how to cause a bigger impact radius of backwardness. haha
Fata Morgana 1029 9
I'm almost forty, and I still do this.
cuz803 46
Madre de Dios. That's a messed up sense of humor for someone so young.
Laken Craig 5
she's my new idol. 😂😂😂
randybryant799 21
So here's a thought. Tell her not to.