Today, I asked my shut in of a daughter why she was sniffing black pepper. She said she was practicing to make her sneezes sound like coughs, thereby decreasing the likelihood of someone talking to her. FML
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Today, I had to let my nosy landlord into my apartment to ensure I didn't have an unapproved guest over. Why? Because she overheard me sneeze, and then bless myself. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It's cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML
Today, my ten-year-old daughter now has a habit of going up to random strangers and acting all scared before pointing behind them and whispering, "El Diablo." FML
Today, my nose was really stuffed up and I was out of cold medicine. I heard spices may help with this kind of problem. Unfortunately I thought red pepper would be a great thing to snort at the time. Not only is my nose still stuffed up but I also have immense nasal pain. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML
Today, my raving lunatic mother screamed at me for being "disrespectful", threatened to not pay for my college, swore at me, and accused me of having multiple personality disorder, all in rapid succession. This was provoked by me sneezing. FML
Today, I've been using a lot of Flonase recently for my stuffy nose, and my 4 year-old happens to call it "mommy's special nose medicine" out loud all the time. My neighbors now think I do cocaine. FML
Today, I am babysitting my niece for the first time. After getting her to go to sleep, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze. My sneezes are loud as hell. Attempts to dampen the sound were unsuccessful. My colossal sneeze scared the bejesus out of her, waking her up again, and now she's afraid of me. What do I do now? FML
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Top comments
thatfmlguy25 21
She might have social anxiety. Talk to her more, its a great start to help ease it.
minnymau5 5
OP, maybe you should look into helping her break out of her shell. Her level of introvertedness sounds kind of extreme.
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Comments (50)
BlueHorizons 8
She's committed and resourceful at least. I'm somewhat introverted myself so I have at least a little sympathy for her, though I would never go to such lengths personally.
zarrganaut 17
Fake coughing is a lot easier lol.
missambitious 21
I think this is in case she has to sneeze. She wants to make her sneezes sound like coughs.
j_inks23 19
If I weren't deathly allergic to black pepper I'd probably do the same to be honest
hasimhaque 9
at least you won't have to care about who she dates
Jryan952015 7
You need to talk with your daughter. She should be excited about making friends. If talking to you doesn't work then I would send her to therapy or let her chose an adult to talk with that is you or her mom
Thorzix 23
She SHOULD be? According to who or what mate?
Jryan952015 7
I was always taught that making friends is a good thing. That was all I meant. She shouldn't be shy. But I don't know the whole situation which is why I suggested therapy, talking with an adult that not her mom or dad or someone that is her friend. I also am speaking from experience, I was a shy person now l enjoy talking with people and meeting new people.
shelby_franklin 16
Kids will do anything to get a buzz anymore.... Smh
Red_Curls1995 28
That doesn't seem very healthy. I mean I'm an introvert but that's like an extreme level. Maybe she needs some therapy?
Solano2580 24
Let her do as she wants, she doesn't fail at life, that's kinda mean OP
worldclassrager 41
You can't avoid people they are all around you...maybe a councillor will help you there OP
Kevinmeowbeanz 22
looks like things are getting too spicey for the pepper