Intimacy: Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual...

By Vincent - 02/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Overland Park

Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 120

You deserved it 8 334

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Same thing different taste

No fun allowed

By but cum to think of it... - 03/07/2015 21:29

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 361

You deserved it 2 282

By uofpalum - 19/03/2009 01:41 - United States

Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 469

You deserved it 10 804

By gross - 02/05/2015 18:39 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 031

You deserved it 3 972

By Anonymous - 25/01/2015 07:01 - United States

Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 515

You deserved it 2 837

By nothing is sacred - 23/02/2017 12:00 - United States - Reynoldsburg

Today, I caught my mom using my toothbrush and washcloth again, despite her having both her own bathroom and supplies. I asked her to please not use mine, to which she called me an ungrateful bitch. My dad agreed. Yet they wonder why I've been desperately saving money to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 537

You deserved it 496

By thechaos - 15/12/2014 22:24 - United States - Pittsfield

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 606

You deserved it 4 237

Cooked

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother cooked breakfast for everyone at my house. Then I later found one of my sex toys in the sink. I “casually” asked her what she used it for, and turns out she used it to make everyone’s scrambled eggs. She thought it was an electric egg whisk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 506

By nikki - 10/10/2010 00:47 - United States

Today, my mom realized we have been sharing tooth brushes because they are similar colors. I told her it doesn't really matter since we're mother and daughter. She responded by saying that she loves me, but she has no idea where my mouth has been, and she doesn't want my diseases. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 991

You deserved it 11 139

By Anonymous - 08/09/2015 18:46 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I told my boss I need a scrub brush to properly clean the stairs at my workplace. She gave me an old toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 358

You deserved it 1 859

By quadropheniac - 09/06/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128 487

You deserved it 8 103

jonahwalzer 12

Thursday 2 January 2014 12:22

I would not touch the other one if i were you....

Broadway_Vayne 32

Thursday 2 January 2014 12:23

Good luck getting that picture out of your head! I'd be scarred for life if I had that happen to me...

Comments

sasquatchNKY 2

Thursday 2 January 2014 22:58

Four out of 5 female dentists recommend it.

davincidasecond 24

Friday 3 January 2014 1:04

So I guess you know what she's up to if she's in the bathroom for a long while.

ashjo 12

Friday 3 January 2014 2:08

bet your sorry you ever asked ahahahha

GemmaAnne 10

Friday 3 January 2014 2:28

Vibrators are expensive these days! Lol hm be careful of what tooth brush you grab......

sabrinalynn22 19

Friday 3 January 2014 6:08

EW EW EW EW EW

MaryPoppins88 14

Friday 3 January 2014 6:11

Ewwwwwwww TMI

FMLworthy5000 21

Friday 3 January 2014 8:02

Throw it out

flufee2 27

Friday 3 January 2014 8:10

Curiosity killed the cat... OP i think your a cat!

an3ph 20

Friday 3 January 2014 8:24

This is why it is wise to think of possible answers before asking questions.

BoltTheSuperdog 22

Friday 3 January 2014 9:59

If you know what I mean...

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Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said, "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 834

You deserved it 3 965

Today, my Dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter overreacted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 398

You deserved it 3 561

The Top

Today, I gave blood. He sneezed while he stuck the needle in my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 011

You deserved it 2 881

Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 219

You deserved it 32 305

Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 793

You deserved it 3 317

Today, I’ve been texting a guy from my old college and we finally arranged a date. I told him it would have to fit my daughter's schedule and his interest in me vanished. Apparently I never mentioned having a kid and have wasted his time. I literally have text messages to him all about her. Prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 278

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he chose me out of all the hotter girls out there. He told me it's because I have great birthing hips. Apparently I'm having six children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 611

You deserved it 5 708

Today, my boyfriend came home from a camping trip and broke up with me. All because when he was watching the lake he was near, ripples formed. Apparently, this means God was telling him I'm impure and unable to be "saved by Christ" and therefore, a waste of his time. I dated this lunatic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 241

You deserved it 8 523

Same thing different taste

No fun allowed

Cooked

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