Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML
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Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML
Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML
Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML
Today, I caught my mom using my toothbrush and washcloth again, despite her having both her own bathroom and supplies. I asked her to please not use mine, to which she called me an ungrateful bitch. My dad agreed. Yet they wonder why I've been desperately saving money to move out. FML
Today, as always, my mom loudly asked me if I'd brushed my teeth, then replied to my yes with, “I don’t believe you.” All because I forgot to brush my teeth once when I was 5. I’m 17 now. FML
Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML
Today, my mother cooked breakfast for everyone at my house. Then I later found one of my sex toys in the sink. I “casually” asked her what she used it for, and turns out she used it to make everyone’s scrambled eggs. She thought it was an electric egg whisk. FML
Today, my mom realized we have been sharing tooth brushes because they are similar colors. I told her it doesn't really matter since we're mother and daughter. She responded by saying that she loves me, but she has no idea where my mouth has been, and she doesn't want my diseases. Thanks mom. FML
Today, I told my boss I need a scrub brush to properly clean the stairs at my workplace. She gave me an old toothbrush. FML
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Top comments
jonahwalzer 12
I would not touch the other one if i were you....
Broadway_Vayne 32
Good luck getting that picture out of your head! I'd be scarred for life if I had that happen to me...
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Comments (102)
thatnucca 36
Well you asked and she told... Curiosity sometimes doesn't kill, it just messes with your head for a long time...
asiannooooodle 7
A long, long, seriously long time....
x_the_lancer_x 13
This is exactly why I don't ask. I just assume one thing to avoid an awkward situation and most likely learn later... Which wouldn't be any better than just being told for these sorts of things, but that is beside the point...
ibanghellokitty 8
Aaah.. mental anguish...
Nessco 36
If you're old enough to understand, you're old enough to know not to have asked the question to begin with. Seriously, a toothbrush isn't that bad, have you read some of the other FMLs recently?
marcelmg 10
Replace the head and try for yourself. Maybe you are in for a nice surprise.
mattrd_fml 31
I'm confused.. what does everyone think she uses the electric one for?...
kinky44 28
A shovel.
Mauskau 35
To eat soup with.
x_the_lancer_x 13
Oh dear. Another mind in the process of being soiled by an app like this. Life would probably have the same effect in the long run.
StraightPain 9
To... Um keep herself company on lonely nights..
Plastic_Stitchez 25
She uses it to ********** with … like pleasure herself.
Masonjar13 10
I'd have to say YDI. You asked.
mcbcfuckyomomma 2
your mom is a nympho.. :D
shaytards_fml 9
I think you know what to get her for her birthday
NPN_Scorpio 16
I see wildly escalating sex toy trolling on family occasions down that road. I'm all for it!
perdix 29
She should have said her mouth-teeth. ****** Dentata is totz legit! Even Snopes says it's not an urban legend!
komaco 2
The another one？ which can shake 5,000,000 times per min. Who can drive it？
Xotoolyxo 16
Never ask a question if you can't handle the response(;