Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML
Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML
Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML
Today, I caught my mom using my toothbrush and washcloth again, despite her having both her own bathroom and supplies. I asked her to please not use mine, to which she called me an ungrateful bitch. My dad agreed. Yet they wonder why I've been desperately saving money to move out. FML
Today, as always, my mom loudly asked me if I'd brushed my teeth, then replied to my yes with, “I don’t believe you.” All because I forgot to brush my teeth once when I was 5. I’m 17 now. FML
Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML
Today, my mother cooked breakfast for everyone at my house. Then I later found one of my sex toys in the sink. I “casually” asked her what she used it for, and turns out she used it to make everyone’s scrambled eggs. She thought it was an electric egg whisk. FML
Today, my mom realized we have been sharing tooth brushes because they are similar colors. I told her it doesn't really matter since we're mother and daughter. She responded by saying that she loves me, but she has no idea where my mouth has been, and she doesn't want my diseases. Thanks mom. FML
Today, I told my boss I need a scrub brush to properly clean the stairs at my workplace. She gave me an old toothbrush. FML
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Top comments
jonahwalzer 12
I would not touch the other one if i were you....
Broadway_Vayne 32
Good luck getting that picture out of your head! I'd be scarred for life if I had that happen to me...
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Comments (102)
Rallred32 20
Maybe then your dad would brush his teeth with the electric one.
mete_orito 34
Well, at least you have an idea of what she needs as a birthday present. :-)
awilliams44 9
oh my gosh.... maybe she was being sarcastic.? agh....
imbedderdenu 23
You asked
Amanyyyyyy 29
Maybe she uses the electric one for cleaning her sneakers?
outoftown 26
Tile grout. It's the tile grout, really ;)
doodlebug33 20
She took Amy Farrah Fowler's advice
happyfingers 15
Well, bet you're glad you asked, huh? lol
soFREAKED 13
super obvious man....
outoftown 26
Now you know what to get for her next present: replacement heads.
krs7g4 8
Grow up. Everybody masturbates. Guess what? Your parents had sex and then you were born.