Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Today, I got a new smartphone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, my 8 year-old sister learned how to type her name into a phone using the number keypad. I later found my phone on the kitchen counter with all my contacts under her name. FML
Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TheOtherNewest1 6
Am I the only one wondering WHAT the humiliating nickname is?
readme 0
Sorry mate, what did you do to her? Or is she just hating the replacement father figure?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (76)
tabrium 0
damn dude...['s all i can say]
Ninjaface 0
Well, I'd say the best way to get back at her is to have the marriage as soon as possible.
FromCFL 0
YDI for going through her phone book when less-nosy people would simply dial the number. (And for treating her in a manner that would cause her to think of you as a monster.)
thousandinone 0
#48- On MY cell phone, when I dial a number into it, if its in my phone book it displays the name and photo while placing the call.
madi_moo 0
She ASKED to use the phone. And when you dial a number, the name and picture related to it come up. NOT her fault.
alalalascrewed 0
...Soon to be stepdughter. She doesnt like yu. Live with it... Haha, fyl.
Professor59 2
Some people don't understand the difference between a right and a privilege. The appropriate punishment is obvious. As long as you continue paying this kid to put you down, YDI.
space_food 0
I have done that with my stepmum, she's the biggest bitch. =_=
TenebrificTurtle 0
Maybe she is in love with you and is only calling you names due to the Playground code, pull the hair/tease the person you love. This is illegal and I suggest you stop trying to get with the mom and the daughter. This is not the right, moral thing to do.
oogabaga 0
what the ****?
42billybob 5
dude what do you expect? you're marrying her mom. Did you honestly expect her to just adopt you as her new daddy just because you're in that position?
mikeisfucked 0
it scared me because i thought it said YOUR fiance
aastha12003 0
tell her mom Wat she did lol