Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Today, I got a new smartphone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, my 8 year-old sister learned how to type her name into a phone using the number keypad. I later found my phone on the kitchen counter with all my contacts under her name. FML
Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML
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Top comments
TheOtherNewest1 6
Am I the only one wondering WHAT the humiliating nickname is?
readme 0
Sorry mate, what did you do to her? Or is she just hating the replacement father figure?
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Comments (76)
xdyingxwishx 0
Who cares what the kid thinks? You're marrying her mother, not her.
null_fml 11
Maybe she's just resentful of the fact that her father is a homosexual and is shifting the "blame" onto you. Don't take it personally, the same would happen to any guy in your position.
ayashe 2
Too bad. It's your own fault for dating a mother, and it's the mothers fault for whoring around. That girl didn't ask for this.
elnorris14 19
did you ever stop to think the mother had the daughter from a previous marriage? people don't always have to be ****** to have a kid and date... think about it
killurbeer 0
Slap that bitch
tabrium 0
there u go!
youre_all_idiots 0
lol, maybe it's "needledick that's ******* my mom" srry but i had to say it
kaprookie 3
Winner XD
dancerforever15 0
Hahaha, thats funny because my soon-to-be stepsister did the same thing with my dads name, his is cocksucker.
quarty165 0
you're marrying her mom.. and you're surprised she hates you?
teiso_fml 0
I wouldn't take it personally. If she's your fiance's daughter, she may resent you for interfiering with her family situation. As long as you're not a complete jerk to her, she'll learn to accept you, eventually.
Ut_vols 0
Boooooo ******* Hoooooo If you wanted her to like you, you would have laughed and called your phone. Instead of crying and running off to write an FML
morgangurl12 0
aww its okay everybody hates the step parent at first{or always...depending on if their a douche}..its like a right of passage..i hated my stepmother to but i got over it&&so will she. dont worry! =]