Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Today, I got a new smartphone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, my 8 year-old sister learned how to type her name into a phone using the number keypad. I later found my phone on the kitchen counter with all my contacts under her name. FML
Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML
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Top comments
TheOtherNewest1 6
Am I the only one wondering WHAT the humiliating nickname is?
readme 0
Sorry mate, what did you do to her? Or is she just hating the replacement father figure?
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Comments (76)
girlygirl666 0
That wasn't her phone- it was her Mom's.
BeeSkwaird 0
It says fiancé, not fiancée. OP is either gay or a bad speller.
quarty165 0
haha, that's great!
bms1996 12
30. it says fiancé
worldinhand 0
ahhh this is also an FML for the fiance's daughter... but i feel worse for the person that wrote this one :[
tigitiger22 0
Well as she is a soon-to-be stepdaughter of yours don't take it personally. I did the same types of things when my mother first started dating her partner. She doesn't hate you. She just hates her mother's boyfriend if that makes sense. She would do the same no matter who her mother was dating and as you are getting married she is bound to be more resentful towards you as she is going to be feeling left out and her father is being "replaced". Having said that, it must feel pretty awful to be in that position but like I said... Don't take it personally.
I_am_stupid_also 6
FML? It all depends on whether you were boning her mom before she split with her dad.
your_face 15
You were humiliated by a nickname that your fiancee's daughter gave you? Sticks and stones, dude. She's probably much younger than you, don't let her get to you.
FerrariCake 2
So your soon-to-be-teenage-stepdaugter doesn't like you? Shocking! Get over it. Teenage girls are usually a pain in the ass because they're insecure and hormonal. Kind of the way you're acting right now.
Veritas143 0
I love Ferraris AND cake! Thought you should know..
mcxhunni 0
21, you're an ass
ayra7939 0
oh big whoop. I had many nicknames for my many stepfathers, and my siblings and family joined in on them, so yeah. Plus she ended up leaving his sorry butt for cheating on her, so maybe there is a reason, or maybe she just doesn't want to have you or anyone as a stepdad. you may be just taking over her mommy in her eyes. Many kids have mean nicknames for stepfathers, so it's normal...think about it from her pov and then judge the situation... But lolz,I'd never let my stepdad hear me call him frogger, croaky, or mr jiggles lolz but we sure had fun saying that
were_giraffe 2
I wonder what she would do if you changed the contact name. Or simply tell her how disappointed you are in her actions and that you were very hurt. That might be the best way... not yelling just the "you disappoint me" speech. But don't yell... then she'll get defensive. A simple quiet talk will shame her more than anything else
quarty165 0
he's not her dad. i'm pretty sure she'd resent that speech.
Dale_shackleford 13
She wouldn't care. He's not her dad
blastvortex 4
You made the decision to marry her mother, so deal with it. If you can't or won't, then I'd break off the marriage if I were you, otherwise the shit will probably eventually hit the fan. Either way, it sucks to be you, even if you're the one who got yourself into this mess.
PlasmaWafflez 0
Who cares? Might have been a more valid FML if you said what the nickname is, I don't think anyone really gives a **** about this.