Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, looked at me, and said, "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to get him some take out. He responded with, "I think we should see other people. Uh, chicken please." FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow. His reaction was to pick up a banana and pretend that he was in the middle of a phone call. FML
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Top comments
marisaichiban 0
Must have been some good chips.
Soak 0
Eh, most guys don't wanna be bugged during eating, tv, games, or with his friends
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Comments (255)
tigergirl72 0
the guys funny, you should keep him. you deserved that one.
pinkkisses9 0
#14: "Yeah I wouldn't go down on a guy either because it's a lot of work with no real benefit to me. Plus cum tastes terrible. Give none, get none. Stupid selfish bastards..." ******* right! stop whining about what vaginas taste like, why don't you go give a guy head and then tell us how that tastes ?
PKYAZ 0
well **** ur boyfriend he's stupid I would not turn my GF down it wont matter what she asked for
firstnlast77 0
i agree it it was either #1 or #3 or both
podrummer9209 0
Holy shit. I'd give up just about anything for ******. I'm pretty sure if I had to pick between chips and 'dessert' I'd certainly pick the second..
Evee_fml 0
Why would you ask that? He is eating his chips woman This is not sex time this is delicious chips time
Amydoll 0
Do not worry. Some males do not like / enjoy going down on females.
Nakedsquirrel 5
I guess I'm one of the few guys that would've tried to say something playful in response. I had once asked what my g/f wanted for dinner and she reached down and grabbed my junk. Stuff like that only creates windows of opportunities for something better, so I take 'em! ...yeah, but being asked if I wanted to eat muff while I had food in my mouth would be weird. Pick a better time, dear.
jsmith1199 4
haha #162 right on
podrummer9209 0
Pahahah 164, nice. Women can be really clever in sexual situations =P 162 = win