Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back...

By car - 21/8/2010 05:25 - Australia

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31608

You deserved it

4073

Favorite

Money

Dangling modifier

British Broadcasting Corporation

Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy…

By nofriends - 9/2/2016 05:17 - United States - Boise

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he wanted to throw me a surprise birthday party. The only issue was the fact I didn't have any friends to make it happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20974

You deserved it

1940

Favorite

By FlipYoC - 16/9/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8706

You deserved it

60736

Favorite

By Anonymous - 10/8/2013 04:41 - United States - Greeley

Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46615

You deserved it

6854

Favorite

By Butter_Cup - 28/12/2010 21:39 - United States

Today, my mom sold the car I've been working on for the last few years for 100 dollars. To buy gas for her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43661

You deserved it

2785

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/6/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

34239

You deserved it

4967

Favorite

By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 16:38 - United States - Raleigh

Today, my neighbors left for their nine month excursion, and armed their security system. One of the features is a loud series of three beeps every three seconds, 24 hours a day. I can hear it, clear as a bell, throughout my entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26275

You deserved it

1543

Favorite

By sadbride - 9/10/2018 13:30

Today, my mom told me she is serving lasagna and Italian cream cake at my bridal shower. I am severely lactose intolerant, which I have been telling her for years. She responded by telling me, and I quote, "The food is for the guests." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2880

You deserved it

245

Favorite

By Scabby - 11/4/2012 09:53 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43351

You deserved it

3614

Favorite

By DumbassRoaster - 10/7/2016 19:44 - United States - Fairview

Today, I was woken up by my dad and my dog barking at each other, and my dad yelling, "I am the Alpha male!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

12477

You deserved it

1705

Favorite

By cereal mom - 7/7/2018 15:00

Today, I found out that my ex let my son eat nothing but cereal and milk for every single meal during his five-day visit. Now my son shrieks, cries, and has a meltdown if I try to make him eat real food. My ex merely replied, "Your problem now." FML

I agree, your life sucks

3875

You deserved it

399

Favorite

By Jake Whitte - 6/6/2011 13:50 - United States

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47567

You deserved it

15695

Favorite

By Anonymous - 29/8/2015 23:01 - United States - Parkersburg

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32456

You deserved it

3024

Favorite

By cactii - 16/2/2015 20:43 - United States

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35331

You deserved it

14352

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/2/2014 23:14 - Australia - Fitzroy

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49105

You deserved it

6206

Favorite

By str3tch - 3/4/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. In order to make a good impression I was as polite as possible and tried to be as engaging as I could. Near the end of dinner my girlfriend's mom says, "I liked your old boyfriend better." FML

I agree, your life sucks

61704

You deserved it

3298

Favorite

By Username - 13/5/2011 08:13

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34733

You deserved it

6691

Favorite

By Anonymous - 3/2/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, the midwest blizzard hit my town, burying the roads in snow. All the local stores are closed. I'm not only currently on my period, but I'm out of pads and toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47359

You deserved it

10428

Favorite

By Samantha - 15/6/2010 18:18 - United States

Today, I'm three months pregnant. Hours after the father of my baby bought me a wedding ring, he decided to get drunk and tell me that he doesn't see himself with me for the rest of his life, and doesn't really want to get married. Oh and he hates my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48246

You deserved it

7540

Favorite

By peachmelba - 1/2/2011 20:26 - Denmark

Today, I spent most of the day doing a project for school. When I finished, I got a call from my project partner. She couldn't finish her part because her internet didn't work. When I finally finished everything, I went on Facebook. She was on Facebook too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47634

You deserved it

4671

Favorite

By Anonymous - 29/10/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

And you like him why exactly?

Today, the guy I like happened to be munching on biscuits while he was talking to me. The biscuit crumbs were literally falling out of his mouth like a waterfall as he was speaking and munching. The crumbs were landing in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1446

You deserved it

242

Favorite

By WeightonmyShoulders - 11/12/2015 21:10 - United States - Canandaigua

Today, I realized that I know, all too well, what it feels like to have my over-middle-age boss's boob on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19593

You deserved it

1735

Favorite

By MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain - 30/3/2016 05:24 - Canada - Guelph

Today, I discovered that my Dad's family very much supports Donald Trump. They tried to convince me to support his campaign by donating money. We're not even American. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21908

You deserved it

2299

Favorite

By Anonymous - 24/11/2015 13:17 - United States - Westborough

Today, I was jerking off quietly so my roommates wouldn't hear me. In the middle of it, one of them sent me a screenshot of an error message on a porn site, asking if I was having the same problem. I guess I wasn't being so quiet after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23096

You deserved it

6800

Favorite

By WorthLessThanACareer - 21/6/2016 12:57

Today, the guy I've been dating said we couldn't see each other anymore because he needed to focus on his career. He's unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13377

You deserved it

1172

Favorite

By notmyfam - 9/9/2016 07:47 - Australia - Chester Hill

Today, my boyfriend stood me up. At dinner with his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15452

You deserved it

1017

Favorite

By frmitalywithlove - 11/1/2011 04:11 - United States

Today, my coworker thought it would be funny to throw my keys up onto the top shelf in storage. I'm 4'10. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30520

You deserved it

4036

Favorite

By Anonymous - 17/11/2018 17:30

Today, my boiler packed up on me just as the weather has turned cold, with no money to have it fixed. Hello to a week of freezing cold showers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2130

You deserved it

131

Favorite

By that was mine - 15/5/2015 22:26 - United States - Cherry Hill

Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35723

You deserved it

2274

Favorite

By drugbaby - 18/12/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, I was talking to my aunt about my brother's recent arrest for drug possession. I proudly told her that I have never done drugs of any kind. Her response: "Well, actually you were born addicted to heroin, so you had a drug problem long before your brother." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37953

You deserved it

3704

Favorite

By Anonymous - 12/12/2011 03:38 - United States

Today, I found out that my father died a little over a year ago. I don't know what's worse; the fact that I don't care or the fact that in his will all he wanted was me not to attend his funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36754

You deserved it

6822

Favorite

By why? - 12/4/2020 17:00

Unreasonable demands

Today, my close friend who’s always been incredibly vocal about how much she hates children, never wants to be around them or have anything to do with them, stopped speaking to me. She’s incredibly "hurt" that I asked another friend to be my unborn child's godmother instead of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1913

You deserved it

138

Favorite

By Don’t Think About It. - 26/8/2019 16:00

Today, I smacked a big mosquito that had landed on my leg. My boyfriend then said to me, "I wonder if their mouth snaps off when you slap them, and now it’s stuck in your skin." Thanks. Thanks a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1313

You deserved it

196

Favorite

By dating a manchild - 1/6/2012 23:50 - Denmark - Hellerup

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34676

You deserved it

7301

Favorite

By Anonymous - 10/5/2017 00:10 - Netherlands - Wageningen

Today, I got written up with a final warning because I ''drink alcoholic beverages'' at work. I was drinking Root Beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5126

You deserved it

329

Favorite

By lunarstrain - 8/11/2011 06:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48921

You deserved it

8491

Favorite

By picasso - 5/2/2013 13:09 - United States

Today, I was partnered up with a girl in my art class, since the teacher had asked us to take turns drawing portraits of each other. I went first and felt pretty proud of how the drawing turned out. I showed it to her and she said "That's OK. I'm not good at drawing either." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29899

You deserved it

3105

Favorite

By Anonymous - 9/10/2010 05:15 - New Zealand

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35082

You deserved it

9740

Favorite

By ew - 3/8/2014 18:49 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25507

You deserved it

49772

Favorite

By Anonymous - 29/4/2020 23:00

Go back to bed, Brad

Today, I noticed that when my boyfriend is sick, his sex drive goes through the roof. Too bad his stamina plummets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1500

You deserved it

166

Favorite

By hikari_chan_xo - 28/3/2012 12:00 - United States - Auburn Hills

Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13472

You deserved it

21176

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By caligal14 | 0

#1280187 - Saturday 21 August 2010 16:30

Fight the ticket in court, I'm sure you'll get it overturned or at least lessened.

By Clover2009 | 0

#1280754 - Saturday 21 August 2010 19:01

I get it. OP said that he was going down hill when his breaks went out, so he must've zoomed by a speed camera and it caught him in the moment of freaking out over it, aka "shitting himself." Frankly, I laughed. But OP gets a FYL. Take it to court with records of your breaks being fixed (receipts, etc) and of course the ticket and picture. I'm sure the story would amuse the judge.

COMMENTS

By oakleyguy | 0

#1280150 - Saturday 21 August 2010 16:26

cool

marinus_fml | 19

#1280164 - Saturday 21 August 2010 16:28

hahah I can relate to this since you're from Australia =D gotta hate multi-novas

mattman1994 | 0

#1280203 - Saturday 21 August 2010 16:32

Hey I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by switching to pampers

whattagirl | 0

#1280224 - Saturday 21 August 2010 16:33

lmaoooo #9, u r epic .. thanks for making my day lol

rimouski | 0

#1280247 - Saturday 21 August 2010 16:38

#9 lmao he's taking over fml with his comments xD

2kool4skoolyo | 0

#1280270 - Saturday 21 August 2010 16:41

Geico, 15 minutes or more save you 15% or nore on diapers...It's so easy that a baby can do it

legonut4 | 0

#1280288 - Saturday 21 August 2010 16:44

haha you pooped yourself on camera

pajamurao | 0

#1280316 - Saturday 21 August 2010 16:52

ohhh brakes, I thought it said braces... LOL fail

Izzy_babii | 0

#1280454 - Saturday 21 August 2010 17:17

I don't get how the camera got you shitting yourself...i mean,how would it catch your ass if your sitting in the car? lmao

Siji | 0

#1280481 - Saturday 21 August 2010 17:27

130's are rare, hang on to that

RTRbryant | 0

#1280506 - Saturday 21 August 2010 17:40

speedshit

rallets | 22

#1280532 - Saturday 21 August 2010 17:48

ahh 15 is trying too hard

nishant5456 | 0

#1280551 - Saturday 21 August 2010 17:50

it's alright but next time don't shit your self next time.

2kool4skoolyo | 0

#1280554 - Saturday 21 August 2010 17:50

31 hmm I know but 9 took my line

rallets | 22

#1280602 - Saturday 21 August 2010 18:01

meh, fair enough i guess

xxLauraSxx | 4

#1280640 - Saturday 21 August 2010 18:12

LOL!

thisisLAUREN | 0

#1280699 - Saturday 21 August 2010 18:39

haha #15 tried to be funny but #9 won.

AlesanaLTL | 0

#1280736 - Saturday 21 August 2010 18:50

im not understanding? you broke your brakes than shit youself now you have to pay 130$? this makes no sense to me!

morganrules123 | 10

#1280764 - Saturday 21 August 2010 19:02

41 He had messed up brakes so when he was going down a hill he couldn't slow down which scared him and made him shit his pants. He was going beyond the speed limit so a speed camera caught him and he had to pay 130 for a speeding ticket.

flotar | 0

#1280832 - Saturday 21 August 2010 19:24

lmfao @9, 15 on the other hand, that was SAD, please stop trying, u might hurt yourself ;)

2kool4skoolyo | 0

#1280845 - Saturday 21 August 2010 19:34

9 took my line that's all I am going to say

Brittney_E | 0

#1280961 - Saturday 21 August 2010 20:04

lol @ 15 and 9(:

zoocity13 | 5

#1280975 - Saturday 21 August 2010 20:11

i'll bet that left a skid mark

oarisimo | 4

#1282984 - Sunday 22 August 2010 7:54

43 the op is female just so you know. doesn't make a difference, it just bugs me when people don't bother looking :/

SmilingFriend | 0

#1286720 - Sunday 22 August 2010 22:50

simple attach a copy of the repair bill to the traffic ticket. it may get waived if you explain along with the repair bill of what happened.

mollieOdare | 0

#1288160 - Monday 23 August 2010 5:44

#39-you probably get this alot but you are super duper gorgeous(:

RVCA_fml | 0

#1293965 - Tuesday 24 August 2010 9:57

lol

By Hoplaka | 0

#1280159 - Saturday 21 August 2010 16:28

Wow lol! First maybe :)

By walkmywaynot | 0

#1280176 - Saturday 21 August 2010 16:29

haha should do normal checks

By a_lexstbbs2o11 | 0

#1280182 - Saturday 21 August 2010 16:30

- ... sucks for you :]

By caligal14 | 0

#1280187 - Saturday 21 August 2010 16:30

Fight the ticket in court, I'm sure you'll get it overturned or at least lessened.

fball913 | 0

#1280938 - Saturday 21 August 2010 19:56

to court!!

dragonmystik3030 | 0

#1284100 - Sunday 22 August 2010 14:38

54... you are wrong hahahaha
you fight charges and tickets IN court.
you take people/cops/rta to court.

hence the post was correct in saying fight it IN court.