^ This.

You absolutely don't have to, but I personally think it's appropriate. It's a respectful tradition.

How it's respectful? It actually insinuates the woman is property of some sort, which is to be handed over from father to husband, with the dads permission. I see the tradition and feelings you can have for that (I have those as well, especially with courtesy and stuff like that), but respectful? Not really.

Well it's kinda the parents job to take care of their kids and make sure that they make wise life choices. If he thinks the person who's trying to marry his daughter is scum, then maybe his opinion is worth something. From the guy's perpective, I kinda feel like I wouldn't want to marry into a family that didn't like me. If guy has no reason to be disliked, then it would mean that he's marrying into a family of assholes anyway.

Better if the parents raise kids who are able to survive without them. They're not going to be there to micromanage and guide the kid's life *every* step of the way. And yeah, it's insulting for the guy to imply that Dad owns her.

#20, you want to know when my father-in-law found out that we were planning on getting married? When we announced our engagement. We were (and still are!) adults capable of making our own decisions. This idea of asking permission from the father is hopelessly outmoded. My wife was certainly capable of deciding for herself whether or not she wanted to marry me. Asking her dad would have smacked of paternalism in my mind. When my daughter reaches the age when she is ready to marry, it will be her decision, not mine.

it's one thing to honor the tradition, if you so like. it's another to actually adhere to the ruling, if it's not the answer you liked.

I like the tradition. It is respectful and let's the parents feel like they have a say (even if they don't, lol). Now daughter can ask why and figure out what is the problem and if it's mendable before it's too late.

I think nowadays asking for her parents' blessing would be more appropriate. That's basically saying "We're getting married, please be happy for us." and it's still showing them total respect.

I think #112 has it right. Why wouldn't you want to be on the good side of your future in-laws? My husband asked my parents for my hand in marriage. I would've said yes anyway but I might not have had the ceremony until they were on board with it. Moot point since my mum sometimes introduces us to people as her "son-in-law and his wife".

well I think that after all ur parents do 4 u they deserve to accept or decline ur husband or wife, but that doesn't neseccary mean that u dnt get married, but ur parents opinion is important 2..... :P

I was thinking the same thing.

were not where**