By Anonymous - 29/11/2014 21:54 - United States - North Adams
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That was classy to ask for his blessing. It sucks that you may have a classless asshole for a father in law.
Really? If someone I was dating asked my dad's permission for my hand in marriage, I'd be pretty pissed off. It's a decision to make as a couple, alone. That's an archaic and sexist tradition. It's basically saying a woman belongs to her father, until she belongs to her husband. It's not noble or chivalrous to perpetuate traditions like that. Women aren't considered property anymore and can fully decide what they want by themselves, the woman's father shouldn't be involved until after the decision is made. Thumb me down if want, that's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.
I don't think it's sexist at all. It's less of an asking for permission thing and more of "I am going to marry your daughter and I wanted to tell you first so I can have your blessing." Lot's of fathers say no and the wedding continues. A long time ago, it might have been because the daughter was almost like the father's property, but I believe that tradition has changed today.
#49- Men usually ask for the fathers "blessing" or permission before even asking the daughter, which I completely understand wanting both the brides and grooms families to approve, but you shouldn't be asking for approval of a marriage that you don't even know is happening or not. You need to ask the woman if she wants to get married before you ask both of parents permission, not just her father.
He may not have directly proposed to her first, but I bet they have talked about getting married for quite awhile. Usually the couple seriously talks about marriage for awhile, then the boyfriend gets the blessing from the dad. And although it used to be because the daughter was the fathers property, that isn't how it is now and it's more just a way of showing the father respect and getting him involved in some way. The bride's mother is involved with helping plan the wedding and the father's role is usually only this part before the proposal, the giving away at the ceremony, and the father-daughter dance, it's just a way to show respect and get them involved. No need to read into it too much or bring up sexist/property issues that happened over 100 years ago and no longer relates to the experience now, in my opinion.
Asking the father for the daughter's hand in marriage is a proper gentlemanly thing to do and it's always best to try to have good relations with in-laws, despite jokes and stereotypes - bad blood can ruin the marriage. If anything, the walking down the aisle "giving away ceremony" is the most sexist part of wedding/marriage. It is a Literal depiction of a male handing his female to a new male, an exchange of woman; an exchange of property. Oh yeah, and why don't men wear engagement rings? Hmm...
I'd bet anything that 47 has a tumblr... She's probably also part of the group that shamed Dr. Matt Taylor, making him cry, and completely diminishing the leap forward for man kind that he participated in. All because those people didn't like his shirt. And yet it's those same people who are always screaming about how women should be able to wear whatever they want. Dat logic.
i absolutely love my dad, value his opinion in everything and he is the smartest person that i know. he is also very protective of me and I'm his only daughter, but i know 100% he wants and knows whats good for me. i would be very dissappointed if my boyfriend didnt ask him for approval because while he doesnt own me, he basically did for 18 years of my life as my guardian and loosing that is going to be very sad for him so i want him to be happy with the person i decide to leave home for when the time is right, amd i want him to feel like he is a part of the journey.
I agree with you. What's the point of asking the father? It's not "classy" or "gentlemanly," it's an outdated tradition based on the transfer of a woman as property from one man to another. I am going to choose who I date and marry, so why does my father need to get involved? I love my dad, but there is just no reason for this tradition to carry on.
Well following that logic, the fact that a MAN is proposing to his girlfriend at all is sexist! In fact, asking women out to begin with is sexist! There's a line between sexism and tradition. And I think you're one of few women that actually think asking for a father's blessing is akin to saying that woman is her father's property.
Wow, what a dick... he didn't even know which of his daughters you were dating...
He acts like he doesn't care now, but just wait until the wedding day. He'll be bawling his eyes out.