By Anonymous - 29/11/2014 21:54 - United States - North Adams

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 474
You deserved it 3 741

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Good on you. Hopefully you don't have to deal with him too much in the future

That was classy to ask for his blessing. It sucks that you may have a classless asshole for a father in law.


Good on you. Hopefully you don't have to deal with him too much in the future

incoherentrmblr 21

Did he die a couple hours later and you decided to make your your own hours from your work-at-home job to spite him like the other FML on here?...

That was classy to ask for his blessing. It sucks that you may have a classless asshole for a father in law.

aruam365 24

Really? If someone I was dating asked my dad's permission for my hand in marriage, I'd be pretty pissed off. It's a decision to make as a couple, alone. That's an archaic and sexist tradition. It's basically saying a woman belongs to her father, until she belongs to her husband. It's not noble or chivalrous to perpetuate traditions like that. Women aren't considered property anymore and can fully decide what they want by themselves, the woman's father shouldn't be involved until after the decision is made. Thumb me down if want, that's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

I don't think it's sexist at all. It's less of an asking for permission thing and more of "I am going to marry your daughter and I wanted to tell you first so I can have your blessing." Lot's of fathers say no and the wedding continues. A long time ago, it might have been because the daughter was almost like the father's property, but I believe that tradition has changed today.

you know asking permission and asking for their blessing is basically the same thing, right? Also, they weren't almost property - they were deemed property!

aruam365 24

#49- Men usually ask for the fathers "blessing" or permission before even asking the daughter, which I completely understand wanting both the brides and grooms families to approve, but you shouldn't be asking for approval of a marriage that you don't even know is happening or not. You need to ask the woman if she wants to get married before you ask both of parents permission, not just her father.

you are beyond stupid... .-. he probably asked his gf first then he asked her father because who marries their daughter to someone they dont know??? .-.

He may not have directly proposed to her first, but I bet they have talked about getting married for quite awhile. Usually the couple seriously talks about marriage for awhile, then the boyfriend gets the blessing from the dad. And although it used to be because the daughter was the fathers property, that isn't how it is now and it's more just a way of showing the father respect and getting him involved in some way. The bride's mother is involved with helping plan the wedding and the father's role is usually only this part before the proposal, the giving away at the ceremony, and the father-daughter dance, it's just a way to show respect and get them involved. No need to read into it too much or bring up sexist/property issues that happened over 100 years ago and no longer relates to the experience now, in my opinion.

Well 47, your opinion sucks. I feel bad for your future significant other... that is if you will have one at all.

Asking the father for the daughter's hand in marriage is a proper gentlemanly thing to do and it's always best to try to have good relations with in-laws, despite jokes and stereotypes - bad blood can ruin the marriage. If anything, the walking down the aisle "giving away ceremony" is the most sexist part of wedding/marriage. It is a Literal depiction of a male handing his female to a new male, an exchange of woman; an exchange of property. Oh yeah, and why don't men wear engagement rings? Hmm...

I'd bet anything that 47 has a tumblr... She's probably also part of the group that shamed Dr. Matt Taylor, making him cry, and completely diminishing the leap forward for man kind that he participated in. All because those people didn't like his shirt. And yet it's those same people who are always screaming about how women should be able to wear whatever they want. Dat logic.

aruam365 24

I don't have one, nor do I know what you're talking about. You're completely off base and an asshole.

@68 Shhhhh..... its a feminist, dont attract its attention. Oh crap, its too late, run before she devours your soul!

Ssshhhh, everyone be really quiet and back away before the feminist devours your soul!

i absolutely love my dad, value his opinion in everything and he is the smartest person that i know. he is also very protective of me and I'm his only daughter, but i know 100% he wants and knows whats good for me. i would be very dissappointed if my boyfriend didnt ask him for approval because while he doesnt own me, he basically did for 18 years of my life as my guardian and loosing that is going to be very sad for him so i want him to be happy with the person i decide to leave home for when the time is right, amd i want him to feel like he is a part of the journey.

You can always tell the maturity level of somebody by how quickly they resort to insults.

I share 47's opinion completely however its very unlikely anyone would ask my dad considering we haven't spoken in over a year. Although I'm likely to marry a woman and they don't tend to bother with the asking permission bullshit anyway.

i think that he should be asking both parents though, or whichever she is close to, in every case

I agree with you. What's the point of asking the father? It's not "classy" or "gentlemanly," it's an outdated tradition based on the transfer of a woman as property from one man to another. I am going to choose who I date and marry, so why does my father need to get involved? I love my dad, but there is just no reason for this tradition to carry on.

Well following that logic, the fact that a MAN is proposing to his girlfriend at all is sexist! In fact, asking women out to begin with is sexist! There's a line between sexism and tradition. And I think you're one of few women that actually think asking for a father's blessing is akin to saying that woman is her father's property.

DanShowsNoMercy 13

What a caring father. He doesn't even pay attention to who his daughter is dating up until she's about to get married.

In truth, I don't think he was paying much attention at that point either.

homesuckfucker 28

He obviously doesn't care much about his daughter, or her relationships. So yes. Go ahead and marry her! You don't really deal with in-laws much, so you shouldn't have to see the brute very often. I hope you're happy in your new marriage.

He clearly doesn't give a flying **** about his daughters relationships. Plus I think burping in front of people out loud is Nasty af.

How else are you gonna teach your son to recite the alphabet?

Wow, what a dick... he didn't even know which of his daughters you were dating...

Hand... Look up, that's the joke flying well over your head, wave as it flies past.

37... No, he genuinely didn't know which daughter OP was dating. What joke did you get out of that?

wantmeasandwich 26

I think 37 thought "Which one?" meant which hand. Even I thought that was the joke the father was going for before I read the entire FML.

He acts like he doesn't care now, but just wait until the wedding day. He'll be bawling his eyes out.

No, by the sounds of it, he's a dick who doesn't care anything about his daughter or her relationships. I'd be surprised if he even shows up. Better yet, if he DOES show up, OP should kindly walk up to him and whisper "piss off, boy."

nellomellinello 11

Idk why this has so many negative votes..