By notready - 15/10/2013 06:49 - Australia

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at a dinner with our two families. Not only did she flatly reject me, my dad said, "Good call. He's not ready." FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 956
You deserved it 6 796

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Ha ha ha...she knows you to well. Seems that your dad knows you even better!!! There has to be a reason for her to reject you, and for your dad to state you not ready!


or OP's gain... if the rejection is founded then maybe OP can learn from this.

yeah better for OP now than right before the wedding! Or god forbid, right after!!

oj101 33

Sorry, but has anyone considered that she isn't obligated to say yes? Sure, OP had good intentions but the girlfriend probably felt nervous and embarrassed when she was asked the question, and she clearly wasn't ready to get married.

how do you know? maybe they'd only been dating a week. maybe they're 15. so many variables.

They were along with family. Also the father was joking, that means they have know each other for quite some time.

46 no it doesn't. I met my boyfriend's parents the week we started dating, and he met with mine as well. His parents were joking around with me within the first two hours, and our families had our first dinner together by the second month of our relationship, and have continued to do so for the past 4 years. Your reasons are unbelievably stupid. I'm kind of hoping that you were joking around, and I just missed it.

RedPillSucks 31

Who says the father is joking? Maybe the father knows something about his son that would justify him saying OPs not ready for marriage.

#58 the father found his browsing history

Yikes! Maybe you should've confronted your parents about the topic first?

His dad didn't need to be a dick about it though

Maybe the dad purposely took on the dick role to try and save the girlfriend from seeming like a cold hearted beep! And also to help lighten the mood of his son getting rejected?

also maybe it isn't up to your parents if you get married

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Maybe op really isn't ready. Perhaps if op matures and eventually proves he's ready, she might say yes.

Personally if I was OP I wouldn't be thinking about asking her later..too much humiliation.

I agree with you, i just dont believe that she would say yes if asked again later,

Ha ha ha...she knows you to well. Seems that your dad knows you even better!!! There has to be a reason for her to reject you, and for your dad to state you not ready!

HairyPunisher 27

Yeah. I'm curious about other details. How old OP and his gf are, where they live, work situations, etc. There had to be a reason she flatly turned him down.

in fact just write me an autobiography about the events leading up to this break up

Lol "how I didn't met your mother" :p

RedPillSucks 31

@20 Just because she says no doesn't mean they're breaking up.

I think that's kinda......idk.....exactly what that means. So either I am a bigger dumbass than I thought I was or a you're dumber than a dumbass

@59: Don't know why people assume "not ready to get married" equals "I hate you and want to end this relationship." I have friends who were proposed to, turned it down, waited a few years then got married. They were much healthier relationships than the girl/guy who just agrees because society says you have to be at step C by x age.

tpm45 25

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It was the OP's own dad who said OP wasn't ready...

He probably should have talked with his girlfriend first.

Ding ding ding ding ding! We have a winner. It amazes me that some dudes insist on doing this in front of both families. Springing this on her in front of a smirking audience is thoughtless and inconsiderate, especially if everyone knew except her. OP, it sucks that you were embarrassed, but perhaps you can learn from this. The next time you find a keeper, propose marriage *to* *her* instead of making it a big public production.

Well, since two people that are very close to you agree this wasn't a good idea, maybe you should consider it. It's a bad idea to rush into marriage, and now you have plenty of time to discuss why they think you are not ready.

Rainhawk94 27
Rainhawk94 27

Crap wrong comment. Down votes here they come

OP didn't specify how old he was. For all we know he could be in his 30s and completely ready for marriage, but it was his girlfriend who wasn't ready for the commitment and his dad was being a super asshat.

RedPillSucks 31

Being old doesn't imply you're ready for marriage. The dad may very well understand that his son is not mentally ready. Perhaps OP is a player, or is immature. I don't think what he said was rude at all. If he had said it BEFORE the girlfriends response, then I would have agreed is was rude.

Ask them if they're ready to pay for their own meals if they're going to shit on you so much.

LizetteBerenice 22

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it's the OP's dad who said he wasn't ready, which is even worse!

But if OP had asked for permission, the dad would've said no then, thus saving OP the embarrassment of being rejected and insulted in front of his family.

what if OP's girlfriend's dad said yes and this still happened?

First, I highly doubt he would've. If the dad did happen to say yes, it would still be embarrassing, but a lot less cause OP doesn't have his girlfriends rejection AND her dads insult. It would've saved OP a whole lot of dignity to ask the father first.

Oops. It's OPs own dad who said he wasn't ready, not OPs girlfriends dad. No matter what I don't think OP could've avoided the double embarrassment. Sorry for misunderstanding you.

I think communication is what is missing here. Op thought, because he was with this girl for x amount of time, that she would feel the same way he did about the relationship. That is usually the excuse I hear for "Why didn't you ask her if she was ready for marriage?" Sometimes it is hard to imagine the person you love and care for might not be on the same page. I should know, because I have had to be the girl who turned my ex down for marriage. I wasn't ready, I felt I was too young, and had said, multiple times, I was not ready for marriage. He chose to ignore that and we never really had the conversation until he proposed and I ended it that night.

#73 I agree. You're better off without an idiot that tries to "force"/"pressure" you into a marriage.

Why would you ask the dad's permission? Are you buying his cow or something? No. You're marrying a girl who can make her own damn decisions

That sucks. I guess your dad was upset that you Diddnt speak with him first, but that's not a good enough reason to embarrass you child in front of their potential spouse.