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Anonymous United States

Today, I asked for permission to marry the girl I love. Her father not only said no, he said "HELL no!" FML

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Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

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sixfoot2 0

in 2011 we still have to ask parents for permission?

SpaceMannn 0

We need permission? What? Where the hell did I put my dang permission slip?!...

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Comments (155)

IHHC 2

'that' girl I love, kind of disrespectfull isn't it? no wonder the dad didn't gave you permission

birds_fml 7

YDI for thinking you needed her dad's permission. Is she a minor or something? Incapable of determining her own life's path? It's incredibly rude and presumptuous to ask an adult's parents for permission to marry. Hell, if it were my daughter, I'd have told you hell no too! Because I don't want my daughter marrying someone who believes in such outdated traditions!

fthku 13

That's the problem with thinking like that. You twisted the whole idea around. First of all, forget what it might have symbolised in the past or what it didn't. I don't know what the act actually stood for in the past, nor do I care. First of all, there's a problem with the wording. I plan to do it myself, but it's not "permission" that I'm asking for, it's a blessing. When you marry, you don't just get a wifehusband, you get a whole new family. My girlfriend and I already plan on marrying, and we don't need permission. The point of the whole asking is to show her dad that I would like to have his blessing because I respect him, it's an opportunity to bond with him and might help build good relationships for the future. In no way is this, for me, a way of showing that my girlfriend is a property and that she has no right to make her own decisions.

redbluegreen 41

Beautifully said, #40.

avatar0810 15

you just have no clue dude

monnanon 14

Shouldn't you already be a member of the family and be accepted by the parents before you even choose to get married?

meteor_stream 9

Not always. My bitch of a grandmother is an oppressive, disgusting dictator, and none of her sons asked her permission (and let her meet their wives-to-be). She ended up hating all of these girls for "taking her children away from her", and now none of her kids talk to her.

fthku 13

*Second of all, on my original post. #67, of course you should already know the family, but I still think it's a way to show the parents respect as well as being a bonding experience - if of course, they deserve it. In the case of #68, I wouldn't even think about doing it. No one should just blindly ask for the blessing of the parents (Not just the dad's) if they are horrible human beings. Who cares about their blessing? Of course, we're not in the dark ages. No one should do it before talking to his girlfriend about marriageproposing, and also only after asking her if she minds him doing it.

CallMeHush 1

Rent a ladder.

cass85 8

****'s sake, this isn't some hugely disrespectful thing people are making it out to be - its along the same par as your father (or other relative) giving you away at the alter, which most woman see as an extremely emotive and meaningful thing. Yes its "traditional" but most people see it as asking for a blessing and not for permission and just showing an iota of respect for someone's parents. Of course, some families are traditional about it - when my cousin asked his girlfriend's parents if he could marry her they said "no" and told him he hadn't proved himself yet. So its kinda good to know whether they would take the asking in the respectful affection it is intended or as a serious asking-for-their-permission thing! My mother was one of four girls and my father was the only one of their husbands that didn't ask permission. For this reason I told my fiance to never ask for my dad's permission because he would think the whole thing is hilarious - he did though and my dad said "no" as a joke and only told him he wasn't serious the next day. I'd never seen my fiance so crushed and confused!

LexxyLiime 0

:(

meteor_stream 9

I really don't understand all the "permission" thing. Honestly, if my father said no to my potential husband, I'd have a loooong, looooooong talk with my parents and explain them that I'm not a property and not a household animal that needs to be sold or gotten rid of. OP, go and marry her anyway. You don't marry the family, you marry a person you choose. If her relatives don't like you, they may humbly STFU because it's not them who're gonna share the time or bed with you.

RinaRina 9

i neither get that american thing there, when your 18teen and above the parents have no power over their child so why ask the parents, this isent victorian times :p we never ask for permission in denmark, not normally that is...

meteor_stream 9

It is a Hovering Helicopter Parent thing, apparently. Because the parents absolutely MUST control their kid's whole life, right? =___=

agamid 1

well isn't it a good thing we live in an age where you no longer need to girl's father's consent. that sucks, but if you both really love each other then screw him.

aback 5

Somehow, I don't think screwing him is the way to win him over. Then again--who knows? Worth a try.

chrstygrl06 10

Who cares? Marry her!

Miss_Jazzalyn 4

Just ask her anyway. Even if her dad says no, it's not his decision. It's his daughter you're wanting to propose to, not him. I know it's tradition to ask but still...I say, just go ask her.

allmidnighteyes 11

Wait, you went to ask for permission? What else are you gonna do, bring along three sheep, two cows, and a chicken? Maybe sign over a few acres of land as well?

Sinkhole 26

In my country the dowry consists only of food and booze, it seems like we're selling our women short! :D