Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I accidentally gave myself a chemical burn. It hurts like hell and I've been told all I can do is wait it out for a few days. The worst part? It's from a reaction to a cream I used all over my chest. I can't wear a shirt without being in immense pain. FML
Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML
Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML
Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML
Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML
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Top comments
FFML_314 11
OP YDI for smoking
keekah 0
Ydi. Don't smoke. It kills you.
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Comments (511)
Baker_FoCo 0
260 read my mind. I smoke, and I enjoy it a lot. I know I may die younger, but to tell you the truth, who the hell wants to live past 70? Becoming dependant on love ones and being a shadow of your former self would be depressing. Also, being unable to get up in bed(both literally and sexually) would be terrible. The only thing I would look forward to is going senile, and not giving a **** what anybody thinks. Being a smoker though, I've already had tons of practice...
icuponme 0
304: Nice finally someone who doesnt argue with me, jeez!!!! i also agree on the senile bit, but yeah, if these people want to live up to a undred almost in comma and vegetable state, what can we do to save them? we´re saving ourselves, GOD SAVE THE SMOKERS!!!
illmatic2 16
Are you seriously saying that you are saving yourself by smoking? Or did I just read that wrong?
wiredream 0
YDI so much for smoking quit now and save yourself while you still can :0
purplerokks876 0
in every fml at least one of the comments have "in soviet Russia" WTF!!!
imhowie 2
For 270, it seems that not just pot makes you dumb. It isn't "filosofical". It's "philosophical". Maybe just choosing to be a smoker is linked with people who are innately dumb. Just a thought.
icuponme 0
well 309, just a thought here, i wrote filosofical cuz im mexican and thats how its spelled in spanish, and well, yes, i dominate both english and spanish and italian so dont go testing my inteligence cuz i am very certain that you dont even know how to speak english properly, much less any other worldly language, so check before writing stupid comments.
Pleasure_Pirate 0
I believe you just got torched, 309.
Freeze_fml 16
It's hard to take you seriously when you misspell "intelligence."
Pleasure_Pirate 0
It's hard to believe you have a life when you're such a grammar Nazi.
icuponme 0
326: Nice response!!! Thanks! :)
Freeze_fml 16
Coming from a druggie, eh?
Raleigh_bruh 7
As much as Freeze and I take jabs at each other, he has a point and I have to agree with him. It's kind of hard to take a person seriously when they spell the word "intelligence" wrong.. As for #326, what's wrong with having good grammar? I'd rather be accused of being a "grammar nazi" than a druggie any day.
all_u_needislove 0
ouch :( but ydi
Pleasure_Pirate 0
Actually, YOU deserve it.
MonsterSports 0
Another Reason not 2 smoke causes external and internal pain
loski87 4
you shouldn't have been smoking
glider23 0
Since THAT goes with the FML?
sadiemichelle 0
ydi for smoking ,
nixonskatel 0
who the **** cares if the OP smokes. your a bunch of little bitches. I don't smoke but I'm not gonna be a **** to someone if they wanna. damn