Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I accidentally gave myself a chemical burn. It hurts like hell and I've been told all I can do is wait it out for a few days. The worst part? It's from a reaction to a cream I used all over my chest. I can't wear a shirt without being in immense pain. FML
Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML
Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML
Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML
Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML
Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML
Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
FFML_314 11
OP YDI for smoking
keekah 0
Ydi. Don't smoke. It kills you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (511)
HonuGirl19 0
what a tard!!!
Grammar_Police 0
In Soviet Russia, cigarette burn YOU! ppl need to learn how to do soviet russia jokes
Pleasure_Pirate 0
207, you look like this girl I used to know a couple summers ago :p
superbadd 0
that a good thing?
Pleasure_Pirate 0
In Soviet Russia, 218 is an asshat. Those jokes are only funny on rare occasions when the converse makes sense.
cheergirly16 0
Asshat, that's a new one lol
Grammar_Police 0
actually, soviet russia jokes arent supposed to make sense. its supposed to be the opposite of what would make sense. and i put the wrong word in mine, i meant to say drop instead of burn
Pleasure_Pirate 0
You're still an asshat.
banditofthings 0
haha
calicoconnie 0
that's what you get for smoking
Brebre71994 0
ok for everybody that called him stupid for not using sunblock..y would he put on sunblock jus for smoking a cigarette? u stupid for suggestin it....but he should stop smoking
goingto_loseit 0
smoking right now
Pleasure_Pirate 0
Ah, nothing like the sweet taste of carcinogens, tar, and who knows what else mutating your cells and causing them to replicate out of control.
sabbathblck666 5
and comments like yours kill brain cells
omgiitsme03 0
that's what you get for smoking!