Today, going to my psychiatrist's appointment for my PTSD and... - FML

By Anonymous - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, going to my psychiatrist's appointment for my PTSD and depression, my mother yelled about how useless I am and how I torture her existence with my "abnormalities." She told the doctor how much I've improved and become such a delight at home for her and our family. FML

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Rock, hard place

Sorry…

Get 'em!

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML

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By Anonymous - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, after missing college for a week due to illness, I found out my "friends" were bullshitting me about us having to write an important no-extension Biology essay. Copious amounts of my sweat, snot and tears went into that desperation-fueled nightmare. Thanks, dickheads. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom cut off the legs of all my pants, because she says I don't show enough skin for guys. I'm now forced to wear jaggedly cut shorts that barely cover my thighs until I can buy new ones. FML

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By iPhonekid - United States - San Antonio

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

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By FreeTacos_ - United States - Pueblo

Today, I told my crush that I liked her a lot. She told me not to message her when I'm drunk. FML

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By Noname - United States

Today, at work, we finally got a digital projector so our theater can show 3D movies. Our first movie is The Jonas Brothers Concert. FML

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By Wife - United States

Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML

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By Brittany - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

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By Dreadge - Israel

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. A couple of cute girls started talking to me, telling me how much they liked my dreads. Seeing this, my mother stepped up next to me, patted me on the shoulder, and said, "This here is my little baby, treat him nicely!" Thanks, Mom. FML

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By birthdaygirl - United States

Today, I decided to get dressed up for school because it's my birthday. I was heading to class in my heels. Then, I rolled my ankle, fell down the muddy hill, pulled a leg muscle, and scratched up my knees. At least ten people saw it. I was wearing a white skirt. Happy Birthday. FML

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By Broke as a joke

Today, I received the bill for my trip to the ER months ago. Almost $1000 for a quick 2.5 hour stay, only to find out that I had bad gas from drinking far too much of the seltzer I had bought on sale. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/8/2020 23:01

Drained

Today, after following the directions and drinking a gallon of what can only be described as an industrial strength laxative for a scheduled colonoscopy. I shit my brains out for nearly 12 hours. The hospital then called and canceled my procedure an hour before my arrival time. FML

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By unknown relationship - United States - Shorewood

Today, after working at my job for months, I quit. Why? My boss tried to convince me that we are in a secret relationship after he told me he loved me. FML

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By Robert Herrin

Today, being the man of the house, I decided to work on the car. Long story short, there's a towel in my transmission. FML

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By mainche - France

Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Rowlett

Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML

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By Bashit - United States - Bullard

Today, I received a call from the company I applied to, only to have my father pick it up and make fun of the man's accent. They won't call me back or take any of my calls, and my dad is completely unapologetic. FML

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By spitballer1 - United States

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

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By Noname - United States

Today, I was flirting with a really hot guy at a track meet and I gave him my number. When I asked him what school he went to he replied, "Oh, I don't go to school, We're from the juvenile corrections facility." FML

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By x0SoReckless0x - United States

Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML

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By KittyNeko - United States

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

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By Michelle - 19/12/2020 08:01

Since when has that been there?

Today, I thought something was wrong with my car battery because my dashboard lights were really low. I paid $77 to find out the dimmer switch was turned down. FML

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By Jordan - United States

Today, my favorite song came on and I started playing the air guitar and head banging to it. I didn't realize just how close I was to the chair next to me and went face first into the metal back. FML

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By the fuck? - Australia - Hawthorn

Today, I actually had to reassure the girl I'm seeing that she can't "catch" my epilepsy. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, despite being the fittest member of my family, with a good exercise routine and a decent diet, I'm the only one who was just diagnosed with diabetes. Meanwhile, the rest of my family are fat, lazy slobs who eat like shit, but are otherwise healthy as horses FML

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By Gonzales - Belgium - Leuven

Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML

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By rongo12

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

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By Brianna Michelle Ferrell

Today, I went on a date with a guy and he kept winking at me. I thought it was really sweet until later that night he told me he had Tourette's. FML

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By stupidsantaclaus - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML

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By GrossedOutKary - Puerto Rico

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

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By Gassy - Australia - Rydalmere

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

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By BrownDump - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

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By displeased - United States - Candler

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

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By JustSom - United States - Falls Church

Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML

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By a critically injured shitehawk - United Kingdom - York

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

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By thecasbah - Norway

Today, I quit my job as a barista for one of our competitors with a couple of bucks more an hour. Two hours after I'd handed in my resignation, my boss approached me just to let me know that if I hadn't resigned, I would've been offered my own café. FML

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By Anon - United States

Today, I was on the subway. I have fairly serious OCD, so I avoided holding the poles or handles. All the seats were taken, so I leaned against a wall. At the next stop, an obese, sweaty man got on and grabbed the two poles around me, effectively hugging me. My shirt was wet when he left. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Oakland

On time

Today, I finally got up early enough to get to work on time. I arrived 15 minutes early only to realize that I'd left my work laptop at home. Ended up being 30 minutes late. FML

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Top comments

By Alup132 | 22

#7836374 - Sunday 25 August 2019 17:01

She says that so that your psychiatrist will say that you’re well, and either ask you not to come, or so that your mom can use they against you.

By Jackey | 29

#7836430 - Sunday 25 August 2019 19:16

Is she the cause of your PTSD?

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 30

#7836369 - Sunday 25 August 2019 16:26

Some people don’t want to wash their dirty laundry in public.

Reply

DrSamba | 7

#7836442 - Sunday 25 August 2019 20:06

That's not in public. The psychiatrist is legally prohibited from disclosing anything unless there is danger of someone being harmed. And the shrink can't help you if you tell them everything's fine, or why would you be there in the first place?

Reply

RichardPencil | 30

#7836445 - Sunday 25 August 2019 20:12

In this context, anyone who is not in the family is considered "public."

There are even cases where nuclear families need to withhold things from their extended family.

I agree that lying to a shrink is pointless.

By Alup132 | 22

#7836374 - Sunday 25 August 2019 17:01

She says that so that your psychiatrist will say that you’re well, and either ask you not to come, or so that your mom can use they against you.

By AmbrosiaFan | 18

#7836377 - Sunday 25 August 2019 17:12

Ugh... Sorry to hear that. Is there somewhere else you could stay who actually supports you?

By Jackey | 29

#7836430 - Sunday 25 August 2019 19:16

Is she the cause of your PTSD?

By Magtec | 11

#7836433 - Sunday 25 August 2019 19:28

Sounds like you may have found the cause of your depression and PTSD. Make sure to tell your doctor what is happening. You can find support here - https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists

By jbuckets_404 | 38

#7836451 - Sunday 25 August 2019 20:31

OP oughta record her mom's various statements/ opinions for conveyance to OP's psychiatrist so as to identify / develop an adequate plan of treatment incl'g for increasing self-esteem and blunting/ counseling mom's negativity. Good luck, OP! :-)

By msfilmmark | 9

#7836641 - Monday 26 August 2019 12:34

This sounds kinda like an ex friend of mine...